Budget Wise Bride

Beware the Professional

2011-02-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

As defined in dictionary.com, professionalism says little about the type of traits and characteristics a professional truly demonstrates.

pro·fes·sion·al·ism /prəˈfɛʃənlˌɪzəm/ Show Spelled
[pruh-fesh-uh-nl-iz-uhm] Show IPA
–noun
1. professional character, spirit, or methods.
2. the standing, practice, or methods of a professional, as distinguished from an amateur.

The longer I am an active part of the working world, the more and more I realize that my definition of professionalism is in fact seriously different than the definition held by most others...or at least, as they actually demonstrate in their day to day dealings.

Professionalism in my view, has nothing to do with a person's certificate, diploma, education or credentials. It has nothing to do with years of service, number of weddings in the portfolio or diplomacy. But it has everything to do with an ability to recognize talent, an ability to demonstrate respect to everyone, and an ability to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. First and foremost, all of these things require a person to be curious, interested and able to listen above all else.

In Corporate America, professionalism is dictated by the dollars. First it's identified by letters and certificates. Then it is demonstrated by a diplomacy that does nothing but feign respect for others while protecting one's own assets.

In the wedding industry, it disguises petty ruthlessness and rudeness. The tool it uses to decry it's own professionalism, is again distinguished first by it's letters and certificates, followed closely by a feigned intimate interest in it's clients. Almost every wedding service provider will tell you the things you need to hear in order to believe that this wedding, your wedding, is the only one on their books that's important. Almost every wedding service provider will work with you throughout the entire process to make you feel like every time you talk to them, you are talking to a member of your family. The reason they do this is that they are all chasing dreams. Your dreams. The reason they are chasing your dreams is because your dreams line their pockets.

There are three types of wedding planners. Ones who charge way too much for their mediocre services. These planners are integral to the industry, because they plan very few weddings, and generate a huge fantasy of elitism and exclusivity for the industry on the whole. Then there are the planners who are seriously giving away the crappiest services they can deliver. Both types of planners are the types of planners who will show you the shiny stuff in their suitcase and dazzle the dollars right out of your pocket.

Then there are the highly qualified, substance driven planners, who all recognize that they aren't going to get rich off your dreams, but are bent on working for themselves, and making sure they deliver quality services in whatever way they can. These are the true professionals, who are now forced by the crappy ones and the elitist ones to totally undervalue their work in order to compete.

The same is true for all areas of the wedding services industry. Finding the best ones, is sometimes as easy as plainly looking at the service provider's philosophy and their ethics. If at first it smells like they are blowing smoke up your skirt, imagine how you butt will smell when they are done?

Why is this all important? Well it's important because there are three types of clients. The clients who want to feel exclusive and elite for as free as they can possibly get it, or as I like to call them: he clients who like smoked skirt. The clients who will pay anything for that exclusivity, and the ones who'd rather do most of it on their own with some help here and there when they get stuck.

So when I say beware of the professional in the wedding industry, what am I ultimately getting to? Well, this notion of exclusivity has spun a web of interwoven and superceding interests. Schools and associations that help millions of people believe that being a professional in this industry is little investment, and loads of rewards; both personal and most definitely financial. Associations and schools who shine the pretty distractions before both clients and professionals in order to collect more money from everyone on the list, and who offer nothing of substantial value in return.

In order to avoid being one of the horror stories or at least part of one, what should you be looking for? You should be looking for the planner who tells you her emergency suitcase is stocked with nipple bandaids, fishing line, a sewing kit and wire cutters. You should steer clear of the planner who tells you that she's coming prepared with toasting glasses and a guest book. You should steer clear of a photographer who couldn't provide references, who commits to giving you proofs within a week of your wedding and who is charging separately for their second shooter. You should jump at the chance to work with a photographer who stands by their reasonable prices, who refuses to work without a second shooter and who is honest with you about being able to get you proofs within 2 months. The same goes for florists and decorators and venues and so on. The credentials people will share with you, should do the same thing for you as they do for large corporate businesses. They give you a starting point, and really mean little else than the fact that this person has proven they can learn, and that they can take a test.
Experience and philosophy are priceless. They demonstrate repeatable history, and the guiding principles of your service provider. These guiding principles distinguish the real professionals from the ones who are faking it to get a piece of your wallet.

So the next time you are interviewing a potential service provider, ask them why they got into the business. Ask them why they stay in it. Ask them to describe what their perfect wedding looks like. If these answers all feel good to you, then you probably have a winner. If the questions stump this person, and they start fumbling for answers, run. No matter how good the prices sound. Run fast dear friend.

Budget...ICK

2010-11-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

There are a few things that contribute to what a wedding budget will look like. First and foremost, you need to decide what kind of debt you’re willing to absorb. If you’re in your twenties, and you’re parents are thrilled, and obsessed with the etiquette of ages ago, then it’s likely that your parents, and perhaps even his parents, will help out by paying for the wedding. This means that you’re dependent on them for the budget. If you are a more modern and aged couple (in your thirties or older), then it’s all too likely that you and your fiancé will be paying your own way. In my opinion, this works out in the end to be the best option anyway – you may be laden with a bit of debt to work through after it’s all done and dusted, but here are the positives as I see them.

First, it means that everything about the wedding is the choice of you and your fiancé (depending on how involved he wishes to be), and yours alone. You can ask for advice from the people, who are important in your lives, but in the end it’s your wedding, and it’s your money, and it’s your decision. You can take the advice they give you or leave it without the guilt or obligation that comes with a parentally funded soiree.
The next important benefit of paying for your own wedding is that you in fact do control the spending. What this means is that there will be no exorbitantly expensive flowers or guest favours, if those are not the most important things to have on your day. You can choose where the priority money gets spent. It also means that you shouldn’t have to use Uncle Larry’s useless son as the photographer because your dad owes Uncle Larry a favour from 42 years ago.

Lastly, it means that you will have a day that is perfect for you and your guests, no matter what that looks like, or how much you spent.

Budgets help you to choose your number of guests and your location too. Whether you can afford $5000, or $25,000, you know that you need to tailor your number of guests, and the affordability of the location to that budget. There are hundreds of reference materials out there that you can use to tell you on average how much each thing should cost you, that will undoubtedly help you to arrive at a realistic budget.

Yes, Yes, Yes I'll Marry You...Now What?

2010-11-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

You just said YES, YES, YES.
Of course I’ll marry you….

Now What?

There’s so much to do – and you don’t even know what comes next.

If you’re like me, you stopped dreaming about your big day right about the same time you turned 30. You came to the realization that as you get older, the old dream of a frilly, pink wedding would no longer look “right” anyway. You recognized that at some point, you in a frilly white dress, would look like a lemon meringue pie trotting down the aisle, and that all the really pretty wedding dresses being made by the biggest names in fashion were being made for Teenagers, and Twinkies and Waifs, oh my.

SET THE DATE

So the answer to what’s next is: Take a deep breath, open up a calendar to next year sometime and do that spinning thing with your fingers to pick a date! OR, if there’s a date that is special to the two of you – choose that one. One thing I’d warn you to avoid doing would be choosing a long weekend (most guests would be not very happy at losing one of the few cottage weekends we’re able to get in each year) in high season for weddings (late May through mid September) and choosing the one day each year that every other bride in the world will choose. Let your day be special and unique from the get go. Don’t follow other bride’s trends. Be yourself, and above all else, once you’ve gone through the steps of figuring out what your wedding will be, everything will be the most beautiful, and the most memorable day you and your guests will have. And if you're a certified planner, help your client to find the date that's perfect for them!

Tricks of the trade – pick a date that gives you enough time to figure out what your day will look like, and that will give you enough time to budget and stay on budget. There will undoubtedly be pieces of this puzzle that will hang nonprofessionals up…no matter how organized they are, or how good their maid of honour is at research... Managing the project of your wedding, is undoubtedly like being pregnant and planning for the arrival of your new child, or like hosting a house guest that’s planning to stay till they kick the bucket. The planning period is stressful, if for no other reason than because it’s a time of limbo, where you still have your full time job, and you’re learning the new responsibilities of taking on a husband or partner, AND you’re working that full time job of pulling off the biggest project in your personal history as a couple. There will be lots to divert your attentions during the period while you are planning your wedding. In football terms, it’s critical to have your end zone defined and continually in sight. Without the end zone, planning makes no sense and will get no traction. You can do this…one step at a time. And above all else, this is the beginning of the most exciting journey you’ll have had yet in your lifetime. No matter how quickly it came about, or how long you have both waited. If you're a professional, you have learned the ways to make this non-stressful, smooth, focused and efficient.

Now you need the best damn wedding preparation checklist you can find. There are hundreds of them out there, so be methodical about selecting the one that you feel will fit your personality the best. Then find yourself the best damn professional coordinator you could hope for.

Want to know more? Register for classes with Excellence in Event Education at http://www.eeeweddingplanning.com to become a professional and to obtain your own copy of Life Size Bride.

Life Size Bride - View to a change!

2010-11-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.

This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.

After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning of one’s own wedding. Since then too, all of these things combined to bring me to a point in life where I’ve established my own Wedding Planning business, and an online distance education program for others to become event coordination certified. One passionate project has become a lifelong dream of bringing to others what I instinctively knew all along. Organization is the key to successful delivery of every project, but passion is the key to getting the touchdown every time you touch the ball!

In the coming entries, what you’ll read are simply my tactics, thoughts, opinions, on how I got through one stage of my wedding planning to the next. What you’ll detect is that these tales will more greatly resonate with women, who like myself, fit the everyday, real women’s profile (size 12 or larger, 30 years or older), and who may be trying to navigate those things that a typical young 20 something bride never need concern herself with. This is not a “how to plan your own wedding” book. This is a tale of what happened on my way down the aisle with the hopes that it will help to peel away some of the hang ups brides find themselves in the midst of. Some of these opinions may be biting and strike a wrong cord with some brides to be. For this I won’t apologize. In fact, I will reiterate many times to make this a day that is reflective of your own personal taste. I just want you to know what the rest of the world is really thinking when they see it. Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.

While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented or specific rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the aesthetics of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.

Design versus Decor

2010-10-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

The most fundamental difference between Design and Decor is a matter of Inspiration versus Execution.

So many people look at weddings and events and think how wonderful it would be to be able to transform a space into something remarkable and picture worthy, and have no idea where to start.

So knowing that the fundamental difference is inspiration versus execution, it's important to understand that one cannot exist well, or be a successful business without being able to do both.

From modern contemprorary event spaces,

to themed spaces,

to traditional romantic wedding spaces,

the ways to achieve each look are dependent not only on budget, but a solid understanding of textures, colour complimenting tactics, and just plain luxe product choices. Just like any interior design, each choice is dependent on the one previous. And each choice layers to complete an overarching concept and design.

Wishing everyone a day of inspirations!

Jack and Ye - July 11, 2010

2010-09-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

As I explained in an earlier post, I had quite the busy summer. But it started off beautifully, when I handed off a wedding I was planning to a day of coordinator at Exquisite Occasions (http://www.exquisiteoccasions.ca/) to carry across the finish line for me.

Ye and Jack hired me last October to plan their wedding. A wonderful, and incredibly busy couple, they were looking for a "secret garden" kind of wedding. 95% of their guest list, including their parents, would be taking the voyage to Toronto from China. Ye and Jack wanted to be sure that they hosted a very western wedding without overlooking their eastern traditions. Our first stop, was the Fantasy Farm, and this was followed by some very trustworthy and wonderful friends of mine in the industry.

When I broke the news to Ye and Jack that I was expecting a baby, completely unexpectedly, my heart was broken. My baby's due date was just a week before their wedding date, and I was incredibly nervous about oing into labour at the most inconvenient time, or having to deal with complications when I should be managing the details of their big day. I left it to them to decide whether they wanted me to back out completely and help them find another planner straight away, or if they wanted me to complete the major steps of planning and hand off to a day of coordinator to help bring the last month of details together for them.

Much to my happiness, they asked me to stay on as long as I could, and together we would interview potential day of coordinators to help them fully realize a most wonderful day. :)

And of course, they had a lovely one. From the venue to the flowers, the photographer and the cake. We came in under budget, and we have evidence that a really beautiful day gave Ye and Jack and their family and friends a moment to remember!

Our major vendors were:

Fantasy Farm (http://www.fantasyfarm.ca/)

Wild Orchid Creations Photography (http://www.wildorchidcreations.com/)

Sounds of Distinction (http://www.soundsofdistinction.com/)

Fran Sackler Florals (http://www.fsflorals.com/)

Alisa Lyons (http://www.whataface.com/)

Cakeaholic (http://www.cakeaholic.ca/)

Congratulations Ye and Jack. I wish you many years of married bliss. You are a special couple, and have a bright future. Thank you for trusting me with your big day!

Passion for detail

2010-09-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

What it takes to plan a wedding is a lot of passion and a keen eye for detail. With a wide variety of budgets to contend with, and a whole lot of various decision makers at the ready to tear things a part, it also takes a lot of guts.

When I learned how to manage the intricate details of a project in my old IT career, I also learned how to do this with no budget. My only budget allotted to me was out of my control, and was allocated strictly to my extended teams' salaries. With no development budget to actually spend it was always a matter of being as creative as I could to Macgyver a robust process that would dazzle my superiors with nothing but a paper clip and a shoe string. This is the exact foundation I needed to start my career as an event planner, and moreover, as a wedding planner.

When you learn how to do things right, you learn how to turn a rustic old building into a lavish 50's style dinner club. You learn how to hire the right vendors who'll transform an old 70's banquet hall to make it modern and contemporary, or who will photograph the event in such a way as to disguise and play down anything that glares out as an oddity. You learn how to take a paper clip and a shoe string, maybe a bit of glue, and turn them into a wrist corsage that would make the mother of the bride cry with pride. And you'll do it with no one being any the wiser.

You learn how to network and you learn how to dazzle your clients with your professionalism. You'll make yourself remembered among your network of suppliers as someone they would prefer to do business with over any of the competition.

Where do you learn something like this, without losing half of the practical education that helps you to help your own business succeed? Excellence In Event Education has the answers you need and has the teaching method that really helps you to take your time to learn it right. http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/

New Adventures

2010-09-23T07:42:00.001-07:00

Well it's been a long time since I wrote anything, and well, that's because I've been extremely busy! I'm a new mom, and I spent the last trimester of my pregnancy, feverishly writing the curriculum texts for my other brand new adventure.

Not to worry, I'll still be dabbling away at wedding planning, and florals. But this new adventure is pretty extreme. Let me get a quick proud mama moment out of the way and share a photo of my beautiful daughter with you first!

In addition to this beautiful piece de resistance! The newest baby is a distance education school by the name of Excellence In Event Education (http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/) or E3 for short. Unlike every other event planning school out there, the major difference we're offering is a more thorough curriculum and virtual classroom instruction. Courses can still be completed in the privacy of your own home and at your own pace. But you get full on support from the school throughout the program, and onward after you graduate. The deal is that we're aiming to prepare graduates to manage their new careers. We're not simply presenting the shiny object, and collecting fees for the distraction. Our tuitions are lower than the others too. There's only success for the student who graduates from our program. And we're not stopping with wedding planning. We know what it takes to be a success in this industry, and it's diversity.

So come the new year, we'll be offering more than just wedding planning, you'll be able to certify and learn how to plan things like parades, trade shows, destination weddings, and more! Who knew planning a funeral could be part of a course curriculum? And when you leave, you're prepared to enter the career through another employer, or you're prepared to start your own business and take the leap. We dive deep into marketing the business, analyzing industry statistics, and developing business strategies. It's not just grab your license and go! And with over 40 combined years of experience at the helm, we can show you how!

Visit http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/ right away and register! Start your new career today!

Julie and Steve - April 10, 2010

2010-04-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

I met Julie and Steve last summer when they were having issues with their previous florist. They needed someone who was going to respond to their questions quickly, and who could help to develop and interpret a real vision for their florals with them, and keeping them a real priority thorughout the entire process! From our first meeting, Julie, Steve and I discovered a lot in common, and I was always pleased to meet and hear from them! The plans changed a couple of times throughout the process, and with each change, I think the designs got better and better! We did Bouquets, Bouts, Corsages and Centrepieces for the Ceremony and the Reception. We delivered everything today, and while I anxiously await their professional photos, I did want to share a quick sneak peak! Congratulations Julie and Steve!

Enjoy!

Parent's Table Arrangement

Reception Arrangement

Ceremony Arrangements

The Bridesmaids' Bouquets

The Bride's Bouquet

The Maid of Honour's Bouquet

Long Overdue - Bridal Bouquets and Bouts

2010-01-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

Well hello there.

This post is long overdue, but I've been a wee bit busy in the baby baking department! Now that I'm well enough to catch up, I wanted to share with you a couple of bouquets and bouts we put together for a bride at the beginning of November. We used deep red roses and mini mango calla lillies, lightened up with white hypericum to deliver a result that I was quite proud of.

Enjoy!

Officially TradeMarked!!!~

2009-10-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

WooHoo!

Just got the news and couldn't wait to share it. A year and a half after submitting our application to the Intellectual Property Office, we have finally received the approval notice indicating that Budget Wise Bride will be registered with a Trademark!

This is a significant accomplishment for us, and represents a solid opportunity for our team to grow and our business to expand into many new areas in a robust way!

Three Cheers for perserverance and Welcome new opportunities!

Destination Brides Beware

2009-10-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

My husband and I flew down to a 5 star (ehem) hotel in Montego Bay in order to see how many things we could check off the to do list with one swing of a stick. The primary objectives were: relax fully somehow while eating and drinking til I merrily came home, spend quality time with one another (way overdue), and really approach the resort as a reasonable option for destination brides, looking for a great place to host their wedding festivities.

I can tell you that I succeeded in relaxing, spending quality time with my main squeeze, and I did investigate the feasibility of a destination wedding. I'm sorry to say, that it didn't cut the mustard with me, and I would not, would never, could not recommend it even if they paid me a million dollars, in it's current state.

I went all out for this trip - booking a 5 star was a pretty big draw for me, as I'd hoped to see that their wedding set up would be secluded, romantic and well worth the investment. I expected 5 star ammenities, and overall quality. I have to tell you, that I think it would be a stretch to label it as a 3 star resort. Moreover, this was a real shock given that I selected a property owned by a very well regarded internationally recognized chain of resorts. We stayed at the Riu in Montego Bay, Jamaica.

Pros:

My husband and I had a great time in spite of all the cons
Staff was generally courteous and pleasant
It wasn't Toronto, Ontario in the cold
It was 34 degrees celcius or better every single day
There's a great beach within a 10 minute drive which is just a block away from a great bar!! But you have to pay to get in, and you have to pay for your meal/drinks at the bar...but let me tell you - worth every penny.
Very few kids were in tow at this resort, and the ones that were, were very well behaved.
The flowers that were ordered in for the 1 wedding I saw being prepped for, were very nice.

Cons:

Food was terrible. The only food edible was the bread, the cheese, the burgers, fries, pasta and breakfast fare. Everything else pretty much made you ill, or wasn't even chewable.
Lettuce was finally available more than half way through the vacation - no hot green vegetables (okra excepted) were made available at any time.
You couldn't get coffee if you were an early riser. Coffee hunters had to wait until the main buffet opened at 7am.
Alcoholic beverages were watered down with very sugary mixes - the best margarita I had all week was at Margaritaville on the hip strip off property.
The beach and the water was stalked all day by men and women trying to sell beads and ehem, illegal drugs.
The beach sand was hard as a rock
The water was mucky
The floor of the swimming area of the ocean was muddy, slick and generally gross.
The gazebo reserved for weddings was smack dab in the middle of the beach, but there was no aisle way marked off, and no where for guests chairs to be set up with a view of both the gazebo and the ocean. And the area was completely littered with topless sunbathers, huddling close to the gazebo for the bit of shade it offered.
I splurged on an ocean front room, and while the room was nice, and I loved that it was parked basically right on top of the beach, it also meant we were more proned to getting bugs - and because of the climate - they were big bugs. My husband's new nickname is the Great White Bug Hunter!
The bar fridge was broken, and their one attempt to fix it failed.
There were no bars on the beach, so you had to walk quite a ways to get a drink.
Excursions were incredibly expensive, but wound up being worth it, because it was off resort.
The restaurants that required a reservation were still buffet style service - in all restaurants, even drinks were self service.
The restaurants weren't all open all week long, and when we wanted to book a reservation, we were out of luck - they were already all booked up - everyone flew to the other restaurants when they found out how terrible the main buffet was.
The rehearsal dinner for the wedding was held in the main buffet which detracted service for most other resort patrons with shared wait staff.
The wedding reception was hosted in one of their other buffet restaurants (no dance floor or dj as far as I could see), and it would have been buffet style as well.
I expected to hear plenty of Raggae music during my stay - I finally heard it off resort on one of our excursions. The resort played 1980's pop and country, all tripped up with dance versions all week long. Lest I forget the terrible sing along that the resort staff gave us during the aqua aerobics session each morning. I mean they even tortured an old Kenny Rogers song this way.
I didn't see it myself, but heard from other guests, that the spa's hot tub was only about 2 feet deep and layered with scum - jets were very clogged with this build up, and it seems obvious that it needed a really deep cleaning and disinfecting.
I requested a king size bed (as would most newly married couples), and what we got was two double beds, pushed together with their own sets of sheets, and were basically hard as concrete...hmmm...made things interesting, but less romantic than it should have been. And I spent most of the week walking around hunched over like an 85 year old because I couldn't straighten out...and believe me, I'm not that old.

Really, there's just no way this is a 5 star resort, and even for a 3 star it was way over priced for the quality of food and ammenities we received. I didn't even inquire about the pricing for the average wedding at the resort, because there's simply no way I'd ever take one of my bride's here for their biggest day.

Anyway, as a vacation, I feel very relaxed now that I'm home in my own bed. And I'm pleased that this dirty work is now done, and I can save future travellers the heartache of a really difficult destination adventure.

Thanks for reading!

Personalizing Favours

2009-09-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Yipes.

As brides, if this hasn't got you thinking "huh?" then we need to chat.

With all that bride's have going on in the month leading up to the big day, I'm honestly very surprised to see how many people are doing different favours for different people. In most cases I'm seeing it occur it is when couples are hosting a guest list of more than 100 people! And if they aren't different favours for different people, then they are going the extra mile and personalizing each tag for each guest.

I want to tell you that (while nice and very personal), the person who takes this on as a project has to be EXTREMELY well organized, and must have seating plans for each table, and cross referenceable charts to help who ever is placing the favours at each setting OR they have to be prepared that the favours will be presented very pleasingly the same way place cards would. Even consider presenting them with the placecards.

I've seen it done incredibly well, and I've seen it done incredibly poorly - and quite frankly, when you're a day of coordinator, you certainly want to help lay them out, and you most definitely want to do it perfectly - but the added referencing work can often throw a real snag in a coordinator's efficiency on your wedding day - and ultimately, it can really challenge your coordinator to catch all the other little details if she and her assistant are trying to make sense of a bride's last minute, great idea, rushed attempt at organization.

I personally think it's a whole lot of work for everyone: the bride, the groom, the bridal party (who often get pulled in at the last minute to help get tags and wrapping finished) and the coordinator. And as I've demonstrated above, it creates an opportunity for undue chaos to take this extra mile. Honestly, I believe there are better places to spend that money, and effort personalizing little details of your day that won't cause undue stress on anyone, and that all of the guests will appreciate. At the end of the wedding, your guest is not going to care that they had a personalized gift tag, or a better gift - what they will remember is that they got the WRONG tag, or they got the LESSER/CHEAPER gift.

When deciding on favours, here are the steps you should follow:

1) what's your budget for favours?
2) what type of favour would best reflect your tastes as a couple and your life together - ie. coffee cups, crystal wine decanters, chocolate truffles, chopsticks, etc... ?
3) whatever your answers to #1 and #2, now you need to decide on whether or not your gift is suitable for all individual guests, or more suitable as 1 favour per couple gift.
4) Buy the same thing for every favour
5) wrap and present them the same way - your personalized thank you tags should be personalized with your own generic thank you message and your names - NOT your guests' names
6) decide if the favours will be presented on a separate table (suitable for large favours), at each place setting, or at every other place setting.

Final thoughts on the 6th rule -

a) If you have a number of single guests, consider doing the separate table presentation or a favour that is suitable for each individual at each place setting.
b) If you have children attending, they too should get an individual favour if you are setting them at each place setting.
c) If they are too young to use it, consider it a write off and let the child's parent take it home with them.
d) If you've chosen to do larger, more expensive favours for each couple, scratch counting one for each child, and be sure to count one for each single guest (+1's should be considered part of the single guest's couple), but DO be sure that you're presentation of the favours is at a separate table so guests can collect them on the way into your dining hall or on the way out at the end of the night.

All this achieves your ultimate goal - it keeps things organized, and smooth to roll out on your wedding day, AND it helps you to make sure that you are leaving no one feeling left out. Everyone leaves with the very same smile. And finally, if it's left behind, you can donate it to a favourite charity afterwards.

I know it seems like an awful lot of rules, and perhaps like it's more complicated than it needs to be, but at the end of the day, it amounts to this: 1 favour for all favours given - personalized with a generic thank you message from the two of you, with no further effort required. Just imagine how much more complicated these rules are when you start setting aside chopsticks for Sue Ann Smith, and a gravy boat for Sue Ann Rogers!!!

AND if you still want to personalize your favours, know that it's perfectly fine, and perfectly beautiful - my best advice to you is to start EARLY, PREPARE everyone who is going to help you, ASK for guidance and help, and BE EXTREMELY WELL ORGANIZED! Everyone will appreciate it that much more!

Happy Favour Shopping!

Lesley & Vince August 8th, 2009

2009-08-20T05:47:00.000-07:00

On August 8th, we had the pleasure of doing day of coordination for Lesley and Vince. A most incredible couple, who had the most perfect wedding (with all the weddings I've attended/done, I actually teared up during their ceremony - it was so lovely).

We had the most wonderful opportunity to team up with some amazing vendors for this event - The Staff at the Oliver Bonaccini restaurant Jump on Wellington St in Toronto. What fantastic and attentive staff. They made my job seem so easy! So competent, and so courteous, these are career service industry people who take pride in what they do, ever single moment of the day. Can't say enough about the staff, can't say enough wonderful things about the food (I'm making my husband take me on a big beautiful date night one day when I'm finally off this diet, and the star of the evening will be this place). Such a wonderfully intimate and urban venue for a fabulous contemporary wedding!

Sounds of Distinction (Dan Forbes), who actually dj'd my own wedding in 2007 did an incredible job that Saturday. I can't say enough to refer his services! He is the best referral ever!

And we had the pleasure of seeing Irina and Mihkel of Irina Photography in action. What a great pair, and so in tune with catching the perfect moments, and weaving a beautiful pictorial story for a new bride and groom. Again, please read this as a big old referral for such wonderful photographers! Way to go Dan, Irina and Mihkel!

Irina sent me a sneak peek of Lesley and Vince's big day, and what justice it does to their memories. Please enjoy this sneak peek of Irina and Mihkel's work for the most lovely couple!
http://irinaphotography.squarespace.com/journal/2009/8/19/lesley-vince-wedding-preview.html

Congratulations once again Lesley and Vince!

Busy Week!

2009-08-16T05:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a very busy week for us here - and somewhat of an emotional ride at the same time.

Earlier this week, I lost my Grandmother rather suddenly. The family has pulled together, and as many are in times of crisis, getting along quite well all things considered. We held her service on Friday, and in honour of her, instead of ordering a floral arrangement, I decided to make one for her that I thought would reflect her spunk, her roots, and her zest for life.

I used purple fuji mums, pink sweet heart roses, white snapdragons, and limonium to make this arrangement for my Nana.

After the service, my Mom (my partner) and I got straight back to work preparing for a most wonderful bride and her most wonderful groom. This was such a happy, generous, sincere, and thoughtful couple - It was truly my honour to have had any part of their big day!

The first wrinkle we hit this weekend was that all of the bridal party and their guests were about 45 minutes early, which meant people saw us in action, and we had to make ourselves scarce before completely finishing our set up - Thankfully, we were on hand til after the ceremony was finished, so while everyone was witnessing the vows, Mom and I got back to work at making Amy's vision come true! They made a beautiful couple, and will make a formidable team now that they are husband and wife.

Because of the time crunch I had to be stealthy in trying to catch this photo - so it's not as clear as I would have liked it to be - but, what a fabulous sneak peek for them. We did aisle decor for Amy and Wil, which included tulle swags to rope off the aisle and block the aisle prior to their procession.

Amy wanted a punch of colour as her guests arrived at the venue. Her colours were bright orange and hot pink, and I think these rose arrangements made just the right impact at the venues entrance. With a soft scent of rose, and simplicity of arrangement, the flowers spoke for themselves!

Finally, the reason Amy reached out to me in the first place. Amy and Wil wanted a photo station where they could take photographs with their guests, and where their guests could take photos throughout the night. What they didn't want however, was the standard photo booth, or a photographer's stock screen. They wanted something different and substantial enough to fill in a large empty space of their venue foyer. Sitting with them, and bringing as many creative ideas to the table as possible, we came up with the design below with an aim of playing up the garden atrium signature of Le Parc in Thornhill. We incorporated the bride's silk rose centrepiece and substituted a garden bench for the three covered venue chairs, and voila, a completely unique and transferable backdrop that was completely "one of a kind".

Congratulations Amy and Wil!

39 Ways to Make Your Love Last and Last

2009-08-08T04:51:00.000-07:00

Found a wonderful article on MSN Lifestyles this morning and thought I would share it with even more people. Writtenby Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran.
Enjoy!

39 Ways to Make Your Love Last and Last

Finding the right guy is up to you, but once you do, here are some little and some bigger ways you can strengthen your love — from activities to do once a week, to things to do together once in a lifetime.
By Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran

Now that you've fallen in love with someone wonderful, are you wondering how to keep that love alive? Here's what you should be doing as a couple:
...Once a week
1. Fight (a little). Getting your grrs out keeps small annoyances from snowballing. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: Together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."
2. Walk hand in hand. Even just to your car after an evening at Waffle House.
3. Compliment each other. This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you — it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.
4. Make love (obviously). But also ...
5. Have generous sex. You need at least one sexual connection a week that's all about pleasing the other person. (Dear busy people: Feel free to multitask and make this the sex from before. Same goes for this next one ...)
6. Sleep together before work. Put down the straightening iron and heat things up this way: "Weekday morning sex is the secret sauce in a relationship," says Tristan Coopersmith, 33, coauthor of Menu Dating.
7. Get into bed and ... sleep. "Sometimes the best thing a couple can do to ignite their passion for each other is sleep," says Hillsborough, New Jersey, sleep expert Carol Ash. If you two aren't in the sleepover stage yet, co-napping has been known to work wonders too.
8. Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let him (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: Yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.
9. Laugh really hard. Laughter is a relationship's Krazy Glue: It bonds you. Uninspired? Fast-forward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or send him something snortworthy from funnyordie.com.
10. Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values," says Elizabeth Lombardo, a psychologist in Wexford, Pennsylvania.
11. Do something scary. Been together a while? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand-new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta. Fly in a balloon, or order the sweetbreads for two!
12. Talk about money. Whether it's "Should we open a joint account?" or just, "Hey, let's split the bill tonight."
13. Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the mouse in your kitchen, the armful of hydrangeas he surprised you with, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends. He'll probably get you back too.
14. Declare something "this stays in Vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy bedroom mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly.
15. Be the man. Not literally, but if your guy always initiates dates, romance, whatever, take the lead for once. Christina, 26, of Jersey City, New Jersey, likes to ask her husband out on formal dates: "I've even brought him a red rose."
16. Disappear together. Hike somewhere AT&T can't find you (and thus your mother, your boss and his needy friend Bob can't find you either). No woods? Any time spent totally alone together — a long drive, even — will do the trick.
17. Disappear alone. We're not advocating game-playing, exactly. But in this world of 24/7 availability, it can be good for your relationship to each have some solo time. Afterward, you'll feel recharged, like the free-spirited single girl he fell for once upon a time.
18. Go to a party! And mingle separately. It screams confidence and makes the after-party rehash even sweeter.
19. Have sex some way you've never had it before. A worthy challenge, whether you've been together 10 days or 10 years. Try a new position or play out a fantasy. Doesn't matter whether it's really new to you, as long as it's new to you as a couple.
20. Build a doghouse. Or restore a Firebird. Or, OK, sew matching Star Trek costumes. Any team project "is fantastic bonding," says Wendi Forrest, owner of Time for Nine, a golf dating service.
21. Now get the dog. Or at least a plant. Anything that'll grow with your love.
22. Say the tough thing. The dark family secret. The crazy career dream. If you can't confess to your significant other, then who? (Hey, you think Barack never said to Michelle way back when, "This may sound nuts, but I think I want to be president someday"?)
23. Cancel Valentine's Day and invent your own lovey-dovey holiday. Lobsterfest 2009, anyone?
24. Fall apart. You can't schedule this. But it's important that you each know, via experience, that you can completely, utterly lose your grip — weep over a bad haircut, threaten to leave your job after a nutso day, have a wrenching fight with your mom — and not lose each other.
25. Don't. Get. Up. At least once a year, break open some bubbly, disable the Wi-Fi, and don't get out of bed for the weekend.
26. Talk birth control. Not so sexy, but potentially life-changing. Would a different method work better? Is it his turn (or yours) to take primary responsibility? And where are you on the whole kid issue, anyway?
27. Re-kiss your first kiss. All timid and hopeful ... and wonderful.
28. Write each other. New Orleans newlywed Rebecca, 32, was inspired by her husband's uncle, who writes his wife every Christmas: "One letter may not seem like much, but after 30 years it's a wonderful record of their lives."
29. Think back on all the reasons you fell for him, whether you've dated for a year or a decade. Some will be big (his extra-dry sense of humor); some will be small (his love of argyle). Make sure you tell him, and remind yourself. Hello, butterflies! There you are again.
... And Once In a Lifetime
30. Get lost together in a foreign country.
31. Damn the cost and go do the dream.
32. Get intimate someplace you might be discovered.
33. Suffer through food poisoning together.
34. Go to each other's "fun" high school reunions.
35. Pay off the mortgage!
36. Come back from the brink of a breakup even stronger.
37. Together, convince a skeptic pal to believe in love.
38. Have a poor phase. Maybe a rich phase, too.
39. Count the stars. Know your love is one in a billion.

Some great news

2009-07-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

Today I am signing on with QC Distance Learning's Wedding Planning and Event Planning School to be a tutor! Yes I will be reviewing Student's assignments, and providing feedback and grading them!

What a great honour, to be asked back to the school I was certified with, to mentor and tutor others in an industry I've come to really enjoy being a part of!

How to work with a planner

2009-07-27T08:11:00.001-07:00

We all know that the wedding day is one that is special for a woman and her husband to be. It’s also a very special day for family and friends. Brides and Grooms know that this is the one event in their life when they can be somewhat self indulgent, and they should feel at the end of the day, that they had a spectacular event, that really reflected who they are as a couple, and who they want to be as a married pair.
Planners are designers and artists at heart. Their job is to listen to your big dreams, and deliver you an event that resembles it as closely as possible with the budget you’ve allowed them to use. If you give the right planner your trust, and your high level vision, this can be achieved, and you may be seriously, and overwhelmingly surprised at the result. Part of the intrigue of working with a planner is the powerful impact that their final design has on you and your guests on your big day.
Often times though, brides are coming to their initial planning meeting with a potential planner, with photos and lists and exact descriptions of the details they expect to have – at which point, the planner’s overall value is significantly diminished, and the makings of a tense and difficult planning process can be triggered. A planner can deliver high quality results, relative to the budget they are given, by leveraging existing relationships, helpful discounts, and other creativities. By coming to the first meeting, making an assumption that you can deliver better as the bride, indicates that you intend to plan your own wedding from start to finish, and are therefore potentially wasting your time and money on having a planner. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, and having a planner isn’t necessarily for everyone. But what you should be expecting to do with this planner should be much more pointed and direct. Be upfront – explain that you know what you want, and which vendors you want to use, and ask them if they think they can help you negotiate discounts to reach your budget. Or be clear that you know what you’re doing for everything but the videography, and the dj, and that you feel that you will need day of coordination help. Can the planner help you to secure these three details, as opposed to helping you design the whole wedding from start to finish for example?
Most planners will be happy to accommodate the pared down services and will be able to deliver against them to your complete satisfaction. And at the end of your wedding, their real value will be evident. Approaching the first meeting with a potential planner under the pretense that you want them to plan your whole wedding, only to be overly specific about your details and your vendor selection, leaves them with very little visible value to offer, and will only make you feel like you’ve paid more than you should…and at the end of the day, it’s not the planner’s fault. They followed your direction, and delivered your details, to your specifications. What you said you wanted is what you got – you left no room for the planner to impress you with their creativity, or surprise you with the glamour you thought you would be getting.
We all want you to have the event of your wildest dreams, and we know we can deliver it and then some. But we need you to let us do what we do best. Deliver and surprise with our quality, our creativity and our vision.
Still, I know it’s tempting – you’ve been dreaming about your day since you were six years old, wearing lace kitchen curtains as make shift veils during various episodes of playing dress up with your stuffed dolls, and neighborhood friends. Letting go of that control isn’t easy. We “get that” as planners. We can deliver a heavenly escape and capture those cloud filled moments of your dream wedding, but trust is key.
The best way to approach your first meeting, and every meeting thereafter with your planner, is to be clear. You have this much money to be spent…you have this overarching idea of the overall experience your wedding should deliver…your favourite flower is…your favourite colour is…you have this many guests that are critical to invite, and this many on the “nice to have” list…you have this traditional or religious requirement or something else that’s close to your hearts to be shared on your big day…your favourite type of music is this…and so on. A good planner will follow up with you in a month’s time or less with design concepts and options. They will share their vision of the details with you, which means you’re going to see the best possible options for the budget you have, and you’re not going to be limited to your first ideas of the details you had in mind. Maybe they’ll be able to share ideas with you that you never knew were possible, or show you where in the budget you can adjust things to make them possible.
They will consult you at every step of the way. They will allow you to approve, provide input to or scratch any idea they present you, and they will give you final veto on vendor selections. You should always be presented with at least 3 options for any given detail, and your planner will work with you to be sure that the final result on your big wedding day is a vision that fully represents your own, unique and special day. If you give them the freedom to design and create the vision, your day can be the one you always dreamed you would have or better. Be open to suggestions, and be prepared to be hands off (this is what planners do – they keep things stress free for you throughout the planning process – which means they do the heavy lifting, hands on stuff for you), until they bring you in for final approvals on each stage.
Happy Planning!

Striking the Balance

2009-07-24T07:20:00.001-07:00

As bride’s one of the most difficult challenges you can face is the one between courteous and gracious host, and well, Bridezilla.
As a planner, it’s my job to help you keep that balance. If you’re one of those bride’s who aren’t working with a planner, that job often falls to your fiancé, your mother, your best friend, and really any of the people who you’re letting loose on in your inevitable bridezilla moments. You can imagine it’s not the easiest message to deliver when you’re being ripped a new one by the one person you’ve committed to support – come hell or high water – It really stinks when hell and high water are delivered at the same time, by the same person.
So how do you know when you’re hitting one of the guard rails, and do you care? Of course you care. She who doesn’t care, is the same she who’ll be divorced within a year of the wedding IF they even make it down the aisle in the first place. I think the way you know you’re hitting the guard rail is when you appear to be tense more than once a day. I think we all have tenuous schedules at the best of times these days, and planning something as emotionally charged as a wedding, sends that tenuous schedule into something that would frighten even Lucifer himself. So, I think it’s reasonable to feel tense once a day. By tense I mean nothing more than tight in the shoulders for a period of about 10 minutes – something that relaxes as soon as you’re on a path to resolution. If you’re feeling more than that, I think you need to realize that you may be hitting a guard rail – and it may be time to take a breather – take stock, and figure out who you’re going to have to apologize to…and quick.
A wedding is the one time when you should feel entitled to indulge in a bit of selfish pleasure. It’s your (defined as you and your fiancé both) wedding, and particularly if you’re paying the whole shot, you should have a day that will reflect your own happiness. Whatever that may cost and whatever you’re willing to absorb as a budget for this event, it should in every way, reflect what makes the two of you happy together. But above all of the emotional self indulgence of the day, you are first and foremost hosts. Remember that all of the wording for your save the dates, invitations, thank you cards, favour tags – every last one of them says “Thank you for sharing in our day!” Or “Thank you for celebrating with us!” Or even “We’re so glad you could join us”. If the day wasn’t meant to be the first large occasion/event you are both hosting together for all of your friends and family, then all of that stationary would read “We got hitched”, “I got to wear a gown”, or heaven forbid “Please bring cash only”. Remember that if you’re thinking it, people will know it – it will be woven throughout all your wedding communications, your verbal and nonverbal cues and it’s the first thing EVERYONE will notice about your behaviour and your overall day. The result will be that your guests will feel obligated to attend, they will leave early, and in no way shape or form will they feel like they have “shared in your day”, rather than watched your self indulgence. Not really how most people want their guests to feel at the best of times, and least of all how you want your guests to feel at your wedding.
Which brings me to when Bridezilla really comes out to play – typically for many brides who were able to avoid such tendencies throughout the planning process, Bridezilla will arrive the day after the wedding, the first day of the honeymoon, or possibly even the day you have returned from the honeymoon. I think there are two reasons for this. First and above all else, she rears her ugly head because you finally have time and brain power to process everything that has happened, come and gone…And secondly, she comes out, because you’re no longer the bride, you’re officially the wife – and while it’s a wonderful role to have, the bride had a project. The wife’s project is a whole different ball game – one that we’ve spent the prep time we had available to us, devoted elsewhere. Remember that often times, our grandparents planned our mother’s first weddings (if you’re twenty or older) – planning our own has taken a lot of work and effort that we haven’t traditionally spent. This means we need to take special care to remember that we are hosts, and not simply the guests of honour, as our mothers might have been.
So the key is I think, if you are planning your own wedding – or even if you’re using a planner, you are a host first (presumably a very gracious one at that) and a guest of honour second. You can always be the bride, but adding that “zilla” will cost you dearly.

Quote of the Day!

2009-07-22T10:27:00.001-07:00

“I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,A church filled with family and friends.I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,He said one that would make me his wife.”

Unknown

Customizable Rental Money Chest

2009-07-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

$30 rental price (Friday to Sunday)

One Vendor to rule them all!

2009-07-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

I've had a number of inquiries lately for multiple services bundled together, and thought I should share some thoughts from a planner's perspective on the pros and cons of this. Not only have these inquiries been for multiple services packaged into one deal, but they've been with short notice, and they've been on seriously strict budgets.

All three of these factors are a real recipe for disaster. From a Bride's perspective, I totally get it. The fewer people you have to deal with when planning a wedding, the sooner it's all booked and put behind you, and the fewer people you have to keep track of. BUT, when you start combining more than 2 services, you put yourself at greater risk of having a REALLY botched day should anything go wrong. Here's what I mean:

On the pro side, combining services with one vendor, can result in them throwing you a steeper discount, because the vendor's margin is suddenly spread across more work. This means they get a larger ticket of revenue, you get more services, and presumably, at a much better price. You have 1 vendor to touch base with in the month preceding your big day, instead of 4 or 5. And you can leverage the seriously broad creative talent that this industry has to offer you. You can ensure that by having decor, wedding day coordination and say florals all done by the same vendor, that they will carry a similar look and feel, because they've been designed, assembled, delivered and set up by the same person. A consistent look and feel gives that extra look of panache that your guests will sit back and enjoy while they partake in the fabulous meal you've organized for them. Who could ask for anything more, right?

On the con side, when you give more than one service to a single vendor, your risk increases (if that business is a small one), should anything go horribly awry and they can't deliver on your big day. Secondly, depending on what services you have contracted with them, depending on their business size, you could see a degradation of quality in what is delivered. Finally, if you know that 1 plus 1 plus 1 equals 3, don't expect that by asking a vendor to provide three services, that it won't be costing you for 3 services. Every thing you ask a vendor to do is going to cost your vendor money, labour and time. By being in business, they expect to make a profit (even if they expect a small profit), but they definitely don't open a business to lose their own money. And finally, if you're asking one vendor to perform most of the services for your big day, where are the checks and balances if something goes wrong or is done incorrectly? Hopefully you have bigger and more important things on your mind on your wedding day, than policing your single vendor. You need to understand how much risk you're willing to accept on your wedding day.

If you're asking your vendor to give you everything at wholesale cost, what's ultimately in it for them? Everyone loves word of mouth advertising - testimonials are the best marketing tool one can get, but not every job can be at a loss for the hopes of a great testimonial - nor should they be. Consider what it would be like if you went in to the office every day, and all your employer did was pay you for a portion of the gas you used to commute in to the office and back home again. It wouldn't be worth your time right? And would you do a good job for that employer? Probably not. Where would be your motivation?

As a rule of thumb, when I'm asked to do more than one service, as a vendor, I'm super excited about it. It means I can show more of my creativity, and more than anything else, it gives me more to do (I'm a bit crazy this way - if I'm not stretched to my limits, I don't seem to be content). But I also make it a rule, not to book more than 2 services that require me to execute on the wedding day. I'm more than happy to combine preparatory services, or things that can be done and delivered in advance of the wedding, but I know how big a labour pool I have to draw from, and I want everything I deliver to be of the utmost quality.

As a small independent business owner, I hate saying "no" to any job. And while it would have to be a major catastrophe for me not to execute on a job, a major catastrophe is always a risk. If I have committed to doing day of coordination, floral centrepieces, pew bows, and table decor and anything were to happen to me, how much of my client's day would be potentially ruined? It's something I consider, even if my potential client's have said they're okay with it. I have people I can call for day of coordination or odd jobs here and there, but the disruption that this would all cause, would be incredible, and hugely disappointing for any bride and groom. And my risk would be that if the couple weren't already aware of my predicament, the first assumption would be that I outsourced the work, and that I didn't deliver to my commitments in the way that they trusted I would. This is not the impression any small business owner would want to leave a client with.

If a company has said yes to booking multiple critical services quickly, this should give you enough pause to ask at least one follow up question: Is the company big enough, and does it have enough people employed within it, to execute all of those services on the day of your wedding, regardless if the person committing to it is there to oversee it or not? And if the vendor is willing to do a job at a loss, ask yourself and ask them why? Maybe it's a good answer, and maybe you've won the lucky draw of being that special couple who's getting the freebie for the hopes of a great review...and if you are - do the vendor a big favour in return, and give them the review. No deal is a good deal if it's not a win win for everyone! But maybe they're saying yes, just to get the next job too. As a customer, I want to work with vendors who are just as careful with my money as I am, and who care just as much about my day as any of my guests would.

Which brings me to my final point (and it's made only with the intent to save future brides from taking on or seeking out awful risks). If you want steep discounts, and you want the convenience and simplicity of a single point of ownership, work with a planner. Working with a planner will help you to divide the work load in a way that's comfortable for you, and it will give you the single point of contact you're looking for, for whatever combination of services are suitable to you. By hiring the planner, they take on responsibility for managing the vendor relationship, and the vendor's execution on your big day. And yes, they can help you make that 1 plus 1 plus 1 scenario, to become a total of 2.5 instead of 3.

Flower Stamina!

2009-07-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

So, last week I blogged about centrepieces I donated to the Canadian Mental Health Association of Peel's Annual General Meeting!

They were a big hit, and people seemed really pleased to have them play a part in their annual celebration. Personally, I admire the work that the CMHA does on a daily basis to promote mental wellness, and to aid the mentally ill in their recovery process.

They were kind enough to let me keep a few of the arrangements as a matter of a personal little experiment I wanted to conduct. One that I had hoped (and am pleased to report), would help my current and potential clients when they are considering who to contract with for their wedding floral needs.

The experiment was in an effort to answer the question: how long will these last when the client takes them home? The purpose of this experiment was two fold: 1) find out what my threshold is with these pretty hearty flowers in terms of how early I can start to get them put together before the client's big day; and 2) to find out how long I can make them last for my client after their big day. I firmly believe that with the cost of flowers, as well as many other details of a woman's wedding, that there should be a little life left in things after the event has come and gone. In particular with flowers, I know from personal experience, how disappointing it can be when your bouquets don't even stand up til you get to walk down the aisle. And even more so when you give the centrepieces away to your guests, who report back to you after you get back from the honeymoon that they all withered away and died by the next morning.

Every single cost of a wedding detail is an investment, or at least it should be. This is one of the reasons I'm in business, and it's THE reason I chose the business name I did. You can have any budget in the world, but if you don't get mileage out of the things you purchase within that budget, you've completely wasted your time and your money.

With that, I wanted to share the results with you. I hope that when you choose your florist, you'll consider these results, and you will ask how far in advance your flowers will be assembled! It's critical!!!

The smaller centrepieces (containing green mums, white carnations and baby's breath, were secured using floral foam that was water absorbant. These centrepieces lasted a full week before they began looking a little worse for wear. With additional watering, this may have been extended another 3 days to a week.

The taller vases are 8 days in and still going strong. I suspect they have another 3 days before they start turning, but check out the life that is still in these arrangements!

Seriously speaking, if your florist isn't willing to commit to a pre-assembly time frame, or you hear that they will begin assembling a week or more in advance, you should expect to get a very short life out of your arrangements. Consider a smaller florist who takes on one or two jobs per weekend...or pick a very large florist who has enough staff to make a shorter turn around commitment. Ideally, for your floral investment to pay off, you should aim for at least 4-5 days of life after your big day (accounting for the frenzy and high degree of stress they'll be under during your big day). At least that much should be feasible!

Happy Floral Hunting!

Pew Bows for Zen

2009-07-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

A while back, I signed up with a client to do Day of Coordination for her wedding on July 11th. As her wedding approached, the situation had changed slightly, and my client asked me if I wouldn't mind using her deposit for something other than what we originally had planned to do.

Of course, in this economy, it wasn't surprising to hear that a change may be required...in fact, it's something that a lot of bride's are coming up against. The best thing to do in every situation is roll with the punches, letting the hit glance off your shoulder, and find another way! And you need vendors who will be able to help you roll with those punches as much as possible. So of course I said that would be just fine. What would my client like to have instead?

"Pew Bows".

Awesome! So here we are after a few days of twisting, tying, and twisting, fitting, and tying again! I love the result, and I think she will too! The bride's colours are soft pink and chocolate brown, and her star flowers are roses and gerbera daisies of course! So here we have a handmade, custom pew bow, completely coordinated to her wedding themes, up to and including a high end fresh touch silk gerbera daisy!! Enjoy.

Pew Bows for Cutie D

2009-06-29T03:41:00.001-07:00

We had the pleasure of doing pew bows for a bride in Mississauga this past Saturday. Her colours were hot pink, black, and of course white!

These were a lot of fun to build, and it was a lot of fun seeing them actually marking her aisle, after months of chatting about the design.

Congratulations Cutie D!! All the best for a happy and prosperous life together!

Flowers, Flowers, Flowers

2009-06-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had the honour of donating all of the centrepieces for the Annual General Meeting of the Canadian Mental Health Association for Peel Region.

The organization's logo is green and white, and in keeping with that theme, we went with green spider mums and bright white carnations, with gypsilium for filler. We managed to deliver 27 centrepieces in total, and did this on a really reasonable budget(just under $1000). It just goes to show you, that carnations and baby's breath aren't evil after all (so long as they stay out of your hair, they smell and look beautiful on any table, and in most arrangements)...and they are so budget friendly, that they allow you to really pick a real star for a silhouette flower in your major pieces. If you like ranunculus, peonies, and mums, Carnations can usually be used at fractions of the cost, they are available all year round, and they create the same affect as the others, in every possible colour of the rainbow - and some mixes thereof too!!

Hope you love them, as much as I did. And I know that the group enjoyed them last evening (some even got snuck out the back door...wink, wink...). What a wonderful compliment it is to know that your centrepieces were nice enough to take home!

Last Minute Weddings for Less

2009-06-19T11:19:00.001-07:00

So, I'm really interested lately in how the economy is affecting the wedding industry from a number of fronts - most of all of course, I'm interested in knowing how to continually maximize dollar values for my clients. In that vein, and given I guess that June is wedding month almost everywhere in North America, I'm finding plenty of information on how to host a fabulous wedding with less. While I don't believe that there is a grand conspiracy to make weddings as expensive as they can (cuz I've obviously landed outside that clique), but I do know that there are always ways to creatively meet your budgetary constraints. You just have to be realistic about your expectations. Having a smaller wedding with a cash bar on a Sunday afternoon, is just as fabulous (if not more so), than an evening soiree at the Four Seasons on a Saturday night in June!

Happy Reading!

Last-minute weddings for less
Who says you need a year to plan your nuptials? Flexibility and the ability to make quick decisions can create an affair to remember in less time and for less money.

Some sought-after wedding vendors convince brides that it takes a year or more to plan a wedding. After all, don't all the best venues and suppliers book far in advance? Not necessarily. While they don't like to advertise it, many hot spots can host several weddings at once, even on prime-time Saturday nights.
Shhhh . . . here's another secret: If you have a little flexibility and make decisions fast, you can save big bucks on your wedding day.
As Chris Mohr, a longtime wedding minister at Foothills Chapel in Colorado, explains, "People pull off pretty elaborate funerals in just a few days all the time." Not to be macabre, but weddings aren't that different -- location, ceremony, flowers, music, food. . . .
According to Alan Fields, co-author of "Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget," the average American wedding costs between $25,000 and $35,000, depending on whether jewelry is included. However, Fields believes averages can be misleading. "A few weddings over $100,000 throw off that figure dramatically," he says. "The true median is closer to $15,000." That means half of all weddings cost less than $15,000 and half cost more.
"There are a number of things the wedding industry promotes to puff up its image: that it is recession-proof; that everybody is spending $35,000 on a wedding," Fields says. "But we're seeing a lot more last-minute weddings in the last year."
So as weddings take a more speedy approach, here are some ways to get hitched in a hurry without spending too much money.
1. Negotiate discounts, custom packages
Some wedding vendors offer discounts for bookings made with little advance notice (usually one to 10 weeks) because they'd rather fill gaps in their schedules than let the slots go fallow. Discounts can range from 15% to 30% off advertised rates. "We're hearing from more and more wedding vendors that they would much rather book a wedding and strike a deal than let the person walk out the door," Fields says.
Vendors most likely to negotiate:
Reception site managers and caterers.
Bakers.
Gown shop proprietors.
Florists.
DJs and bands.
Photographers and videographers.
While Fields likens counting on last-minute deals to "playing chicken with your wedding budget," he believes that politely negotiating discounts or custom packages is always a good idea.
Wedding vendors typically work based on set packages with set pricing, which they hope ensures everyone spends a minimum amount. It's common inside wedding industry circles to hear vendors such as a DJ say things like, "I won't leave the house for less than $1,000." But, that's not always true.
The trick, Fields explains, is to ask for a custom package that better fits your budget. "You have to remember that most wedding vendors view themselves as artists -- 'artistes,'" he says. "So, you kind of insult them if you ask, 'What kinds of discounts do you have?' You have to make them feel like they are still creating art. By custom designing a package for you, it makes them feel like they are putting a little bit of personal expression into it."
Essentially, wheeling and dealing is easier for vendors who have unused capacity and more flexibility. A baker and support staff, for example, can handle perhaps six cakes in one day, whereas a photographer can shoot only one wedding at a time.
Having an open bar at your wedding? Wine-shop owner Howard Silverman recommends some of his favorite inexpensive wines. The Wall Street Journal's David Kesmodel reports.
2. Winnow the guest list
Shorter notice typically means fewer guests attend, and the more time families ponder guest lists, the longer those lists get.
Precious Knudsen started planning two weeks before her Aug. 5, 2006, wedding in the Hamptons. Prior to her fiancé's redeployment to Iraq, she threw together a simple beach wedding and restaurant reception for under $7,000.
"The wedding wasn't going to be big anyhow because we gave people 10 days' notice," she says. "We invited 50 people and around 30 to 40 showed up. We saved thousands upon thousands of dollars, without a doubt. If we'd had more time, we would have invited more people, and more would have shown up. We would have needed a bigger venue, a more traditional type of venue."
Fewer guests also mean less food. Many quick-planning brides opt for nicer food for fewer people, rather than passable food for hordes. Even with the gourmet upgrades, the food bill is much lower. Compare a $20-per-person buffet for 200 guests to a nicer $50-per-person sit-down meal for 40. That's $4,000 on food alone versus $2,000.
3. Plan simpler events
Less time results in simpler weddings. All those personalized extras cost time and money. When you don't have time, you're less likely to fall into the bridal vortex that convinces you oodles of add-ons are necessary. Guests don't notice if the candy is monogrammed. They really don't.
"Some of this actually goes back to the way we used to do weddings. Keeping them simpler," says Elise Enloe, a master bridal consultant certified by the Association of Bridal Consultants who plans weddings in Florida.
"You don't have to serve a seven-course meal and have a 20-piece band," Enloe says. "With this economy, that's what we're seeing. People are cutting back and doing with smaller weddings, or they are delaying the date, but the No. 1 response is to cut back."
One often-overlooked option is to host the wedding at home. After all, you know for sure your place isn't already booked, and its size likely will keep the guest list small.
4. Select off-the-rack options
More stores offer inexpensive wedding dresses in many sizes right off the rack or for delivery in two to three weeks. No rush shipping. No drawn-out alterations.
Fields explains that gown stores are under increasing pressure to compete with online discount dress outlets. "The reality is that many gown manufacturers and bridal accessory makers say you need eight weeks for special orders. But often brides go into the shops and say, 'I've only got six weeks.' Then they tell us a miracle happens. All of a sudden, bridal shops figure out how to get these things without rush fees."
And, even if there is a fee, it's typically just $50 to $100, which isn't terrible if you're saving big bucks elsewhere.
Zaira Knudsen, whose wedding to Precious Knudsen's uncle came after just three months of planning, says she walked into a discount bridal store, picked out a dress and walked out that day with it in hand. "When you don't have so much time to think about it and make decisions," she says, "then you have to do it fast and pick your best option."
With only a few weeks or months, she adds, "You don't have the chance to change your mind."
5. Be adaptable
Melissa Bauer, spokeswoman for TheKnot.com, a popular online wedding site, doesn't recommend fast planning as a money-saving strategy. Instead, she suggests that all brides comparison shop to find good deals.
But when prodded to categorize what kind of women best fit the quick-plan scenario, she describes brides who:
Are incredibly flexible and willing to take what's available as far as dates, times, venues and vendors.
Focus more on the big picture than on the tiny details.
Are willing to compromise and potentially toss out things they wanted.
For example, rather than a Saturday wedding, go for a Thursday, Friday or Sunday. And compared with an evening affair, morning and afternoon time slots often cost significantly less. Add these concessions to a wedding planned fast and you can compound your savings.
Despite what traditional wedding planning timelines say, it's entirely possible to do it in much less time.
Says bridal consultant Enloe, "If you're going to plan a wedding in a year or 18 months, chances are you're going do to a lot of stuff in the first three months and in the last three months, with a three- to six-month window in the middle where not much happens."Having an open bar at your wedding? Wine-shop owner Howard Silverman recommends some of his favorite inexpensive wines. The Wall Street Journal's David Kesmodel reports.
4 ways to make it easier on yourself:
Leverage the Internet and telephone to do research before you burn time (and gas) seeing places and people in person. Then negotiate face to face.
Choose venues that offer package deals and let them bundle services for you.
Be decisive. Don't sweat every detail.
Consider hiring a wedding planner (typically $50 to $75 per hour), especially if you want to get married in peak season. Rather than making 30 or more calls to find each vendor, a planner can likely make fewer than five and get you hooked up, including special rates.
This article was reported by Roxanne Hawn for Bankrate.com.
Updated June 2, 2009

Walmart of Weddings is Thriving

2009-06-18T05:24:00.000-07:00

I found this article on MSN yesterday, and felt it was worthy of noting where I interact with my bride's.

2 key messages came out of this for me - particularly for bride's who don't live in the US:

Polyester isn't so bad at all - you can have a beautiful silk gown, but you risk being wrinkled before you walk down the aisle. A gown using some polyester will look great all day and all night long, will clean wonderfully, and will make the gown resaleable, reusable, and much, much, much easier to store.
If you're struggling finding "the dress" at your local shops, please, please, please, consider either shopping at a second hand gown shop (like Gown Go Round in Newmarket, ON), or consider having your dress custom made. Custom Made gowns don't have to be more expensive than one off the rack - particularly if you're expecting to pay full retail price, AND it will fit you from the first moment you try it on. Add to this that it can be 100% you from top to bottom - alterations to change design (adding a sash here, a bow or bustle there, and a brooch for example) are already baked into the plan.

Happy Reading!

Walmart of Weddings is Thriving
One-third of brides marrying in the US this year will be wearing a polyester wedding dress from David's Bridal that costs as little as $99.[Related content: wedding, retail, Wal-Mart, economy, savings]By The Big Money With June upon us, consider this: More than 2.2 million women will get married in the United States this year. About one-third of them will be outfitted by one company: David's Bridal. With more than 300 stores throughout the country and a growing online presence, the retailer offers unbeatable prices on a wide selection of mass-produced gowns. While the average wedding gown costs $1,075, according to Condé Nast Bridal Media, the average David's Bridal dress retails at $550. Some sell for just $99. David's Bridal has been called the "Wal-Mart of weddings," and, like the big-box giant, it may be poised to emerge from the recession as a more formidable retail force.As many small, independent dress shops have shuttered due to the economic downturn, David's Bridal is in the midst of what it calls "an ambitious expansion program." The privately held company doesn't publish revenue figures; Thomson Reuters estimates its sales were $683 million in 2008."I would say it's actually performed relatively well in this recession," says Jackie Oberoi, a credit analyst at Standard & Poor's. She estimates that David's Bridal has added between 15 and 30 stores a year since 1999. Even in the past year's gloomy retail environment, it opened 20 stores. The brand's budget-friendly reputation appears to be paying off.As the retailer unveiled its new Manhattan store this spring, CEO Robert Huth acknowledged the company's unique position, saying, "Although many retail stores have been closing locations due to difficult economic times, David's Bridal is proud to open its heart and doors to the people of New York City." The newly opened store has a utilitarian feel; racks and racks packed with plastic-wrapped gowns, organized by price and size (2 through 26). There are no champagne toasts or doting bridal consultants. Brides pick through the dresses like they're shopping for groceries.The styles range from trendy cuts to classic silhouettes, but almost all the gowns have one thing in common; they're made of the fabric that no bride wants to speak of too loudly: polyester. Still, customers don't expect to find high-end silk gowns at David's Bridal. And brides have never been drawn there because it's fancy. "The first store didn't even have carpet on the floor," says Phil Youtie, former executive and founder of the David's Bridal empire (the company gets its name from a small bridal shop that Youtie bought out early in his career). In 1990, Youtie began selling deeply discounted gowns on pipe racks in a Florida warehouse. At the time, most bridal shops stocked dresses only in sample sizes, so customers would have to wait months for their own dresses to be manufactured, delivered and altered."We wanted to have all of our dresses right then and there," explains Youtie. David's Bridal offered not only on-the-spot purchases but bargain-basement prices as well. "Everybody loved the idea," says Youtie.Well, not everybody loved it. In fact, lots of people in the wedding industry loathe David's Bridal. That's because, for years, bride after bride has jilted her local boutique and purchased a dress from the chain instead. "Whenever a David's opens up, business drops instantly," says Sally Conant, the executive director of the Association of Wedding Gown Specialists. Most small shops can't afford to stock dresses in every size or discount their merchandise as deeply as David's Bridal does. Because its dresses are typically made with inexpensive materials, manufactured abroad and purchased in bulk, they're some of the least costly gowns available. As a result, David's Bridal claims an estimated 50% of the $600-and-under wedding-dress market. Engaged couples looking to hold down reception costs don't have to settle for a boring and tasteless wedding cake, reports Michelle Kung of The Wall Street Journal. (June 9)The economic downturn could help David's Bridal capture even more market share. While the recession hasn't deterred couples from tying the knot, it has shrunk their budgets substantially. The average cost of getting married in the United States slipped in the first quarter to $19,212, according to the Wedding Report, a market research firm. That's down from $21,814 last year and $26,450 in 2005. Brides-to-be are opting for cupcakes instead of wedding cakes, downsizing their guest lists and, yes, compromising on what may have been the dress of their girlhood dreams. According to a recent survey of brides-to-be, 55% plan to spend no more than $600 on their dresses.That means that those who may not have set foot inside a discount shop like David's Bridal in the past are venturing in. "I think they're considering it even more than ever," says Gail Malecot, a bridal retail consultant. "These girls want to spend less on their weddings, across the board, from dresses to chair covers," she says. The real test for David's Bridal -- and most budget-friendly retailers today -- comes when the economy rebounds. Of course, therein lies the big difference between David's Bridal and Wal-Mart Stores (WMT, news, msgs): People shop at Wal-Mart regularly, whereas David's Bridal is presumably seeing most of its customers for one purchase (or not much more than one).This article was reported by Caitlin McDevitt for The Big Money.

Destination Weddings at Home?

2009-05-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

My brother and his fiancé are in the process of getting a grip on what they want for their wedding, and with budget issues first and foremost in their minds, they are seriously considering a destination wedding. When he told me over the phone that he figured they could get away with a $5000 wedding that way, I tried to remind him that there would be additional costs still in doing this. That yes, you could do it for $5000, but you also have to factor in attire, jewellery, guest favours, and resort activities to show your guests how much you appreciate their $5000 contribution to your big day. I started thinking...always a sign of trouble ahead...

So, with the way we have made the world a smaller place, we find ourselves with access to loads of new locations to visit, and tons of places to see. And it’s all so accessible, that we tend to forget what is readily available and what we may have never taken the time to appreciate in our own backyards.

Canadians in particular, have been incredibly attached to cottage country all throughout history, and yet, at the first opportunity we get, we tend to hop into a cab, wait for hours at the airport, fight the hustle and bustle of strangers in every direction to go through customs, and find our way to teeny, tiny little seats made for toddlers, eat crummy freeze dried food, rehydrated to only slightly resemble what a chicken breast should look like...to find ourselves laying on a beach, getting sun burnt at a resort, because the drinks and the food flow freely. This is how so many people are choosing to host their destination weddings, and really, I’m not all that opposed to heading somewhere tropical (I love travelling), but the exaggeration is meant to polarize the other side of the concept.

In Canada, we are blessed with many different corners, cultures, many different landscapes, all of which change with the seasons, and bring at least 4 very distinct characteristics to our lives. In this post and in select future posts, I hope to inspire local Canadians and future travellers, to consider Canada as a viable and interesting destination wedding option. In the long run, you’ll have a wedding that is unique to other destination options, AND, you won’t have had to spend all that much more money to keep revenues and resources local. Not only will it be welcomed and appreciated by your friends and family, BUT, you’ll be supporting your local economy. Travelling in country may take on a whole new meaning for some of us.

So, my first inspiration for you may be completely expected, but giving things some thought, could really take it up a notch! And you may just find it to strike the right cords.
Consider dock side on a lake in Northern Ontario or Quebec. The country side of Central / Northern Ontario & Quebec offer lush green landscapes, serenity, calm, and solitude. In fact, I think they offer more romance & solitude than you will find on an all inclusive beach resort in the Caribbean.

Cottage country has so many cottage resorts to choose from that having a small guest list, and asking your guests to rent cottages with you lake side for a week in July, could be just the ticket for great family fun. This kind of affair can mean just as much R&R for you and your guests afterwards...AND, now you’re talking about it being a BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze) week too! Don’t get me wrong, I think you should definitely be prepared to shell out the money for wedding drinks, and you should plan to do this with a whole lot of flair and elegance, but in the grand scheme of things, you’ll find that it’s more economical to do this and not have to pay for your outdoor wedding set up at a fully decked out “wedding venue”.

(photo courtesy of http://www.marrickslanding.com/)

Make the details a bit richer by choosing a cottage resort on a lake with a fabulous name. Marrick’s Landing as an example, is a pet friendly property with 5 or 6 cottages on the shores of Lovesick Lake in Burleigh Falls, Ontario (photo above). Now imagine getting hitched on a dock over Lovesick Lake with the family dog, let’s call him Spot, carrying your rings down the dock to you...couldn’t get more romantic or intimate than that right?

In our next instalment, we’ll look at the option of vista settings watching the sun go down over the mountains on the West Coast!

Customized & Rentable Card Boxes

2009-05-18T03:48:00.000-07:00

Rent decorated to match your decor and your floral themes for $50, or rent plain for $25. Either way, save yourself time and money by not having to purchase and resell or hang on to for no good purpose!

Thoughts on Marriage on my Anniversary

2009-05-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

Today is the second anniversary of the day I married the man I was meant to be with forever. I’m not an expert on marriage (I believe the only people who could be called experts are those people who have been married to the same person all their lives)...but in two years, I have come to observe some of what I think it’s going to take to keep this marriage on the right course, for the rest of our lives.

We have three not so secret secrets (I guess) to keeping our focus. The first is that we kiss each other and we say “I love you” at every opportunity. We value our partnership above all else, and we keenly remember what it was like before we were together. So even when we’re on one another’s nerves to the breaking point, we remember what it was like to be lonely and lost, and then we fake it like we like it.

The second would be that we have a turn of phrase that is ours and ours alone. In fact the phrase is engraved inside our wedding bands (and it was purely accidental when we chose them for one another). I tell him that “I love you this much” (arms outstretched) and he responds by saying “I love you more” (index finger in the air to mark infinite measurement). I suspect and hope that this rings true forever...although I will admit that the truth in it is strained some days. That strain...that’s what people refer to when they say a marriage is actually hard work...and take it from a newbie – it’s so very true. It’s work where the only paycheque is a pat on the back and a smile. You definitely have to love marriage to be an effective partner in one.

The last secret I think we have is one that so many people have forgotten is there as a crutch for the opposite purpose than it has been used. Simply, it is that divorce isn’t an option for either of us. We’ve made a commitment, and come what may (so long as it isn’t hurtful or dangerous in any way), we’re in it for the long haul...no matter how tough it gets, or whose feathers it ruffles, or how much easier it would be to just walk away. I think that (while it certainly hasn’t been the toughest year we will face together as a couple) we have put this theory to the test this past two years. We have struggled with infertility, and he has seen me through the depths of clinical depression, and a year on disability, and still, when he looks in my eyes, I see pure unconditional love.

At one time, I didn’t think unconditional love existed. I count myself lucky to have found it. I think unconditional love comes straight from instinct. It is because, well, it is. C’est toute.

So the real matter of the entry today though, is what marriage ought to be. So many of us dream about the perfect wedding day, and envision that marriage will be like the television sitcoms. But when you get home from the honeymoon, and there’s no more wedding to plan, you get all discombobulated looking for that next project. Wondering why the world didn’t somehow just flip you into a perfect day every day while you were in Hawaii. It really is an odd feeling, and one that creates a lot of unease in some couples – this is why the “honeymoon phase” is critical. It helps you to mentally, emotionally and physically bridge the gap between fantasy and the reality you’re about to face for the next 30 or more years. Yes that’s right, I said 30 years or more. That’s how long people used to stay married for. Sounds like forever right? You’re probably getting married now, and you haven’t even been alive for 30 years. I think this is also a great reason that many couples have delayed the actual getting married part. The idea that you will have been married longer than you had been alive is rather daunting...I think sometimes we expect that a fairy tale wedding will turn into a fairy tale marriage, but just as in real life, there’s a reason the fairy tales end at the wedding.

What should come out of those first few years are traditions and a way of interacting with one another every day in an interdependent way. Things like our turn of phrase, and our saying to one another that we love each other every day is now part of a daily routine. When one of us isn’t there, or e miss saying/doing it, we can carry on, but it’s just not the same level of comfort left over.

For our anniversaries (like today), I think we’ve created a very special tradition. One that I hope will inspire you to look at your relationships in a new way too. We don’t buy one another gifts for our anniversary. I mean, we do a nice dinner, and he buys me beautiful roses. But the moment for tangible, wrap-able gifts happened two years ago. Instead, our gift to one another is a love letter. Every year, I write one for him, and he writes one for me, and I keep them with our wedding album. Every year, we look at the wedding photos (unlike many couples who never take the opportunity to pull them out after the first round of viewing by friends and family), and we read the letters from the previous years. What I think is wonderful about this is that it’s a great way to take the opportunity to re-centre and refocus on the marital goals...whatever they may be. It’s also a way of restating our commitment to one another and our marriage vows...and it doesn’t cost more than 10 minutes of our time, the cost of a pen and a piece of paper. And finally, it shows one another exactly what we appreciate and admire most in one another – because so often life gets in the way of sharing that level of appreciation and admiration for one another. It’s like the old sayings go – it’s easy enough to say the words “I Love You”, but it’s a whole other thing to be able to “show it”. We all need that kind of reassurance and admiration once in a while. And we all need to be able to give it to our partners just as much. Someone once told me that no marriage is 50:50. Marriage is like 120:120. You both have to give yourselves over to it fully in your own ways, or selfishness will destroy the marriage bonds.

I think for the major milestones, we’ll try to kick it up a notch, but in the meantime, this works, and sets us up for marital success – not just wedded success.

So this post is dedicated to those getting married, and those newly married...may you have a lifetime (yes, 30 years or more) of commitment, honesty, trust and love with one another. May you find the courage and the strength in one another to meet each anniversary with as much love or more than you had the year before. And may you look at your wedding photos at least once a year to remember what it was like before you were together, and to prove that it wasn’t just a huge waste of money to get that fabulously expensive photographer!

Here’s to happy marriages!

Exotic Traveller Inspirations

2009-05-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking, what would make a western wedding more unique than bringing in huge pieces of cultural flair. The idea of a themed decor can be much more elegant than going star trek or shrek all the way, and there's no reason to be afraid of it.

But you can go with a theme and pull things together elegantly, and in a big way - and it doesn't have to break the budget either. In fact, thinking out of the box, is generally going to cost you scads less, than it would to follow trend to the letter. Not to mention how much more eco-friendly it could be to run with a particular theme far enough to be able to reuse items you already have access too.

One example, use a chop stick and a rough piece of burlap with a small piece of the right coloured printed paper as your place card to denote a South African theme, or even a ring bowl (I'm sure we all have a wooden salad bowl sitting at home in one of our cupboards somewhere right?).

What if you added a bit of Paris by using miniature statues of the Eiffel Tower, and had a profiterole cake instead of the traditional 3 tiered fondant!?
Or finally, for a tropical island feeling, don't stop at sea shells and sand - think exotic. There's nothing more tropical that hot, striking colours, and of course feathers with black pearls...so get way out there, and see how unique your wedding can be using something as out of the ordinary as a peacock as your inspiration.

The possibilities are endless, and limited only by your imagination. Imagine the cost savings you could find if you simply looked around your room, and thought about your favourite collectibles, pieces of art, your favourite trip, the one place you've always wanted to visit, or your most comfortable sweat shirt.

Here's to living outside the box!

To DIY or not to DIY...That is the question

2009-04-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

What details of your wedding can be crafted by yourself? The simple truth, is of course you can do anything. Add a bit of creativity, and a good amount of planning, and you'll find yourself able to accomplish just about anything I'm sure.

But there is a really good reason we hire people to do certain tasks. First and foremost, you have to consider that if you've done it all yourself, who will take care of laying everything out on your big day? If you've done it all yourself, will you have enough time in the last two days before your wedding to assemble all your floral centrepieces, bouquets and other fresh details? Lastly, if you (and your mom and your friends) have managed to do all the cooking for a very frugal and very tasty buffet, will you have enough places to refrigerate the food in advance of the big day? Will you be able to contribute any energy to this while you're doing your fresh florals? How will hot foods be reheated for your buffet reception? And finally - who's gonna do all them dishes?

The reality is that this is a time like none other you've probably ever had. It's time to delegate, and given how perfect we all want our wedding day to be, it's a time when it's probably better to delegate to someone who is a professional, who has some experience doing the task over and over again...and finally, someone who is going to dedicate their time leading up to your wedding in doing one or two tasks extremely well, rather than you and your friends/family stretching yourselves too thinly at the 11th hour.

But there are still some things that can be done on your own to save a couple bucks that will help you to stick to a tighter budget.

Things like your favours, your invitations, your photo guest book, or your slideshow. You can do your own makeup on your wedding day, and you can do your own manicure and pedicure the day before. You can print out your own place cards, your seating chart, or your menus and programs. With the technology available to us in the printers we have today, your only limitations are your imagination, and perhaps embossed or metallic print. You can host your own rehearsal dinner by throwing together a small bbq for your bridal party and your immediate family at your home. If you're trying to manage the things you splurge on, better to handle the manageable early tasks on your own as much as possible.

There are tons of ways to make these happen on a tighter budget, but you should always opt to delegate these tasks to the people who do it best. It will make you happier in the long run, and will increase your odds exponentially of having a fabulous, stress free experience.
Happy Planning!

Customized Pew Bows

2009-04-28T04:53:00.000-07:00

Why buy pew bows for $50, that are simple, basic and won't have any other purpose after your big day? There is an alternative. You can rent them. customize them to really make a statement, and you won't have to lift a pretty fingernail after your ceremony is done to remove them and / or figure out what to do with them?

We're currently putting some bows together for a bride who is being married on June 27th. The rental rate is $50 for each set of 6 bows (I do believe you can buy 6 at Michaels for $50 but you'll have to spend more money and time to make them pump up your ceremony decor that extra notch). See some ideas below for inspiration, and to see what else is possible!

Mike & Myra - 4/25/09

2009-04-26T04:50:00.002-07:00

Yesterday, we had the pleasure of helping Mike & Myra throw a seamless and extraordinary wedding reception at the Atlantis Pavilion at Ontario Place! A beautiful couple, and a most extraordinary day, they enjoyed the warm sun, and the fabulous weather, and managed to just escape the onslaught of the thunderstorm that took all of us by complete surprise. This is definitely a couple who is lucky, and luckier still, in love.

Here are a few of our non professional teaser pics for you to enjoy!

We wish them all the best for a happy and fun filled life together.

Congratulations Mike & Myra!

Divorced Parents and the +1 Debate

2009-04-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

With 50% or more of Baby Boomer and GEN X marriages ending in divorce, this generation of brides has the unprecedented challenge of dealing with divorced parents and their new partners.
The most common questions that come up show us that these issues can make or break a bride’s ability to adjust and “maintain the calm” for her own wedding. In fact, many times, it’s the one thing that will turn a bride into bridezilla in less time than it takes a supped up Mustang to go from 0 to 60mph.

Who do I ask to walk me down the aisle?

Always, always ask your biological father to walk you down the aisle, UNLESS the relationship is so strained it would break your own heart not to be given away by someone else. The thing is that you have to imagine yourself in 10 years, or even 15 years, and ask yourself if you would have regretted not being given away by your biological father. Without sounding too cliché, most men only have two dreams for their daughters. First, they dream about their daughter being the Prime Minister or the President of some large and powerful company, or something so incredible, that they just know their daughter could rule the free world if given the chance. Their second dream is almost always one of being able to give their daughter away to a man they believe will take good care of her. Often we may not think about it when we’re in the midst of planning our big day, but the reality is that in breaking his dream, you’ll possibly be breaking one of your own. Allow yourself and your father, the privilege and the honour of being together on that final walk to greet your new husband.

I’m so close to my step father, and he’s been there for me since I was a little girl? Who do I share my father/daughter dance with?

As someone who is watching her own niece grow up in separated and blended families, I can tell you that much like that first walk down the aisle, you’d likely regret not having a father/daughter dance with your biological father. That said, it would probably be weird not to incorporate your step father in the same manner. My answer to this is why not have two father/daughter dances? It adds time to your schedule, true, but I think it’s time well worth spending if you can. If you are so close to your step father that this has come up, then it’s important to incorporate him as much as possible. This would be an elegant and very touching way to share a special moment with him on your big day. As for who goes first? Again, blood trumps water for me every time. So unless there is a justifiable reason for your stepfather getting first or only honours, I would recommend dancing with your step dad second.

My parents can’t be in the same room together without WW 3 breaking out. How do I manage this?

The short answer is while you shouldn’t have to deal with this, you’re going to have to. But when you do deal with it, you need to be crystal clear. The time for managing hurt feelings will have to be when all of this wedding stuff is done and dusted. Sit them down in their respective corners early on. Explain to them that while you understand the animosities that exist between them, that you have a certain expectation. That expectation is that just for this process and this day, you expect them to behave like adults, and you expect them to remember that your feelings are the ones hanging in the balance of their ability to manage their own immaturity. Explain to them both that while it’s very important to you that both of them play an integral role in your day, that you would rather not have them involved at all if they intend to bicker and carry on at any point during the process. This should do the trick, even though it could get their hackles up a bit in the meantime. The challenge to you is to become the adult they have forgotten to be. You are about to take a huge step in your adult life...and if not now, when will you demonstrate that leadership and independence all adults are expected to have?
You should also be prepared to follow through on your threat. Really, I know it would be unthinkable, and each situation is unique, but by following this guideline in principle, you are sure to leave an indelible mark on your parents’ minds. One that should be fairly difficult to forget or overlook.

My Mom just started seeing someone – I don’t even know him, but she expects to bring him to the wedding?

I have to tell you that you have no choice in this decision. And you should not try to impose yourself on your mother for having a relationship that makes her happy, even if it is just for now. Imagine if your mom had told you that you couldn’t invite your fiancé to Christmas dinner because she would be uncomfortable and didn’t want to “deal” with managing those issues and feelings that come with meeting/hosting the new boyfriend. The reality is that everyone deserves a chance at happiness, and everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves, and nothing makes your wedding day (wonderful as it will be) so special that you can ask your guests not to share your day in a way that makes them most comfortable. Also consider that she may want him there for moral support. Watching her daughter grow up and get married is an emotional thing for her to go through. She’s going to need a calm and reassuring hand – one that you won’t be able to give her (you will be rather busy after all). Lastly, consider if this happens to be “the one” for her. If she were to marry this new boyfriend, would you feel as justified about excluding him from your wedding, when it would have been one more shared memory to share in your speech on their big day? Remember that every boyfriend and girlfriend was new once. Yes, EVEN YOU were new to the group at one time. Remember the first wedding you went to with your fiancé? Remember that the couple whose wedding you attended, may not have known you very well either. At the end of the day, for the price of a meal, you’re going to be sure that your Mom (who may even be helping you to pay for the wedding) will have a wonderful time, won’t resent you later on, and won’t be sitting there throughout the entire meal feeling isolated, alone and embarrassed about being on her own. And finally, she won’t be wishing she could find the darkest corner in the room when the dancing begins because she is without a partner.

My Mom/Dad is remarried, and while he/she’s a nice person and I like him/her, I’m just not as close to him/her as I am with my Parent. What do I do?

My feeling is that step parents should be respected enough (extenuating circumstances excepted) to be incorporated as much and as easily as possible. Often times you can simply leave it to them to agree or disagree, and you might be surprised how many brownie points you’ll earn simply by having given it enough thought to ask. Ask your stepparent to say a few words during speeches. Share that second father/daughter dance with him. Maybe even take a moment during the ceremony to bring both stepparents together with your own parents for a candle lighting or a sand ceremony. There are always small and meaningful ways in which your stepparent can be included, without looking like you’re favouring one step parent over another.
The reality is that weddings should never be “exclusive”. They are by invitation, but surely, having fun means including everyone you love, and those that love you back. No matter what direction that love comes from. If you are approaching your wedding from an exclusive point of view, in my experience, you’ll spend more time trying to justify your decisions to the people who love you than you will sharing the happiest moments of your life with the people who are most happy for you. Decisions that have to be justified over and over again were probably the wrong decision to start with.

This is one where the golden rule always applies – do unto others, as you would have done unto you. Plain and simple, if in 20 years or so, you want to be sure that, come what may, your children still respect and love you enough to have you be a part of their day, be sure to pay it forward in advance. Treat your parents the very same way today.

Life Size Bride

2009-04-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

It’s hard enough being a new bride at any age or dress size, faced with making decisions about location, attire, seating plans and budgets. It’s even harder when you’re a real sized woman (you gave up wearing your thong and cone cupped bustier as outer wear 7 years ago), over the age of 30.

Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.

This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the deep plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.

Fast forward to the day I met my future husband. Even in the early months of dating, while I knew that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I had locked away those thoughts and dreams of a wedding so far at the back of my mind, that I had lost the key to that vault. When he asked me to marry him, and my long lost dreams jumped to the forefront of my life, I found myself lost amidst the person I was, the person I am, and the people he and I were going to be. I found myself leaping into a new sisterhood of women, and found myself almost distraught at the thought that I might not be prepared for it like my metaphorical sisters were. I concerned myself with whether or not I would actually belong amongst my new sisterhood, and whether I actually deserved to sit among my sisters’ ranks (given how I had convinced myself that I must not be worthy of being married years ago). And lastly, while I knew I had grace to spare, I had not had an opportunity to share that grace in so many years, that when I called upon it, I found myself dealing more often with the criticisms of others, than pushing forward with complete ease.

After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning one’s own wedding.

Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.

While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the esthetic of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.

If there are two things you will learn from this entry and the ones that will come, they should be that a wedding is a celebratory day for you and your fiancé, and that with the right ownership and organization, your day can only be perfect, no matter what happens to slightly derail your schedule. It’s yours to own, to enjoy, and to take in with every breath…so just do it that way.

Why hire a wedding planner

2009-04-22T11:17:00.001-07:00

The real question is why wouldn't you?

Good planners will ensure that their fees work within your budget. So if you've budgeted $20,000 for your fabulous day, a good wedding planner will never let your budget exceed that amount to accommodate their own fees.

Really good planners, will leverage their contacts, drive the best possible discounts with a list of preferred vendors OR will work with your own favourite vendors to create a dream wedding that you never even thought you'd see realized.

Planners are a key piece of hosting your own wedding, be it large or small, a fabulous planner will take that $20,000 budget, and will deliver you a wedding much larger and more detailed than even you imagined.

It started with a glance across the room. Let us bring you to your One of a Kind Wedding Day with style!

Check out our website and contact us as soon as you can. www.budgetwisebride.com