As defined in dictionary.com, professionalism says little about the type of traits and characteristics a professional truly demonstrates.
pro·fes·sion·al·ism /prəˈfɛʃənlˌɪzəm/ Show Spelled
[pruh-fesh-uh-nl-iz-uhm] Show IPA
–noun
1. professional character, spirit, or methods.
2. the standing, practice, or methods of a professional, as distinguished from an amateur.
The longer I am an active part of the working world, the more and more I realize that my definition of professionalism is in fact seriously different than the definition held by most others...or at least, as they actually demonstrate in their day to day dealings.
Professionalism in my view, has nothing to do with a person's certificate, diploma, education or credentials. It has nothing to do with years of service, number of weddings in the portfolio or diplomacy. But it has everything to do with an ability to recognize talent, an ability to demonstrate respect to everyone, and an ability to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. First and foremost, all of these things require a person to be curious, interested and able to listen above all else.
In Corporate America, professionalism is dictated by the dollars. First it's identified by letters and certificates. Then it is demonstrated by a diplomacy that does nothing but feign respect for others while protecting one's own assets.
In the wedding industry, it disguises petty ruthlessness and rudeness. The tool it uses to decry it's own professionalism, is again distinguished first by it's letters and certificates, followed closely by a feigned intimate interest in it's clients. Almost every wedding service provider will tell you the things you need to hear in order to believe that this wedding, your wedding, is the only one on their books that's important. Almost every wedding service provider will work with you throughout the entire process to make you feel like every time you talk to them, you are talking to a member of your family. The reason they do this is that they are all chasing dreams. Your dreams. The reason they are chasing your dreams is because your dreams line their pockets.
There are three types of wedding planners. Ones who charge way too much for their mediocre services. These planners are integral to the industry, because they plan very few weddings, and generate a huge fantasy of elitism and exclusivity for the industry on the whole. Then there are the planners who are seriously giving away the crappiest services they can deliver. Both types of planners are the types of planners who will show you the shiny stuff in their suitcase and dazzle the dollars right out of your pocket.
Then there are the highly qualified, substance driven planners, who all recognize that they aren't going to get rich off your dreams, but are bent on working for themselves, and making sure they deliver quality services in whatever way they can. These are the true professionals, who are now forced by the crappy ones and the elitist ones to totally undervalue their work in order to compete.
The same is true for all areas of the wedding services industry. Finding the best ones, is sometimes as easy as plainly looking at the service provider's philosophy and their ethics. If at first it smells like they are blowing smoke up your skirt, imagine how you butt will smell when they are done?
Why is this all important? Well it's important because there are three types of clients. The clients who want to feel exclusive and elite for as free as they can possibly get it, or as I like to call them: he clients who like smoked skirt. The clients who will pay anything for that exclusivity, and the ones who'd rather do most of it on their own with some help here and there when they get stuck.
So when I say beware of the professional in the wedding industry, what am I ultimately getting to? Well, this notion of exclusivity has spun a web of interwoven and superceding interests. Schools and associations that help millions of people believe that being a professional in this industry is little investment, and loads of rewards; both personal and most definitely financial. Associations and schools who shine the pretty distractions before both clients and professionals in order to collect more money from everyone on the list, and who offer nothing of substantial value in return.
In order to avoid being one of the horror stories or at least part of one, what should you be looking for? You should be looking for the planner who tells you her emergency suitcase is stocked with nipple bandaids, fishing line, a sewing kit and wire cutters. You should steer clear of the planner who tells you that she's coming prepared with toasting glasses and a guest book. You should steer clear of a photographer who couldn't provide references, who commits to giving you proofs within a week of your wedding and who is charging separately for their second shooter. You should jump at the chance to work with a photographer who stands by their reasonable prices, who refuses to work without a second shooter and who is honest with you about being able to get you proofs within 2 months. The same goes for florists and decorators and venues and so on. The credentials people will share with you, should do the same thing for you as they do for large corporate businesses. They give you a starting point, and really mean little else than the fact that this person has proven they can learn, and that they can take a test.
Experience and philosophy are priceless. They demonstrate repeatable history, and the guiding principles of your service provider. These guiding principles distinguish the real professionals from the ones who are faking it to get a piece of your wallet.
So the next time you are interviewing a potential service provider, ask them why they got into the business. Ask them why they stay in it. Ask them to describe what their perfect wedding looks like. If these answers all feel good to you, then you probably have a winner. If the questions stump this person, and they start fumbling for answers, run. No matter how good the prices sound. Run fast dear friend.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Budget...ICK
There are a few things that contribute to what a wedding budget will look like. First and foremost, you need to decide what kind of debt you’re willing to absorb. If you’re in your twenties, and you’re parents are thrilled, and obsessed with the etiquette of ages ago, then it’s likely that your parents, and perhaps even his parents, will help out by paying for the wedding. This means that you’re dependent on them for the budget. If you are a more modern and aged couple (in your thirties or older), then it’s all too likely that you and your fiancé will be paying your own way. In my opinion, this works out in the end to be the best option anyway – you may be laden with a bit of debt to work through after it’s all done and dusted, but here are the positives as I see them.First, it means that everything about the wedding is the choice of you and your fiancé (depending on how involved he wishes to be), and yours alone. You can ask for advice from the people, who are important in your lives, but in the end it’s your wedding, and it’s your money, and it’s your decision. You can take the advice they give you or leave it without the guilt or obligation that comes with a parentally funded soiree.
The next important benefit of paying for your own wedding is that you in fact do control the spending. What this means is that there will be no exorbitantly expensive flowers or guest favours, if those are not the most important things to have on your day. You can choose where the priority money gets spent. It also means that you shouldn’t have to use Uncle Larry’s useless son as the photographer because your dad owes Uncle Larry a favour from 42 years ago.
Lastly, it means that you will have a day that is perfect for you and your guests, no matter what that looks like, or how much you spent.
Budgets help you to choose your number of guests and your location too. Whether you can afford $5000, or $25,000, you know that you need to tailor your number of guests, and the affordability of the location to that budget. There are hundreds of reference materials out there that you can use to tell you on average how much each thing should cost you, that will undoubtedly help you to arrive at a realistic budget.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Yes, Yes, Yes I'll Marry You...Now What?
You just said YES, YES, YES.
Of course I’ll marry you….
Now What?
There’s so much to do – and you don’t even know what comes next.
If you’re like me, you stopped dreaming about your big day right about the same time you turned 30. You came to the realization that as you get older, the old dream of a frilly, pink wedding would no longer look “right” anyway. You recognized that at some point, you in a frilly white dress, would look like a lemon meringue pie trotting down the aisle, and that all the really pretty wedding dresses being made by the biggest names in fashion were being made for Teenagers, and Twinkies and Waifs, oh my.
SET THE DATE
So the answer to what’s next is: Take a deep breath, open up a calendar to next year sometime and do that spinning thing with your fingers to pick a date! OR, if there’s a date that is special to the two of you – choose that one. One thing I’d warn you to avoid doing would be choosing a long weekend (most guests would be not very happy at losing one of the few cottage weekends we’re able to get in each year) in high season for weddings (late May through mid September) and choosing the one day each year that every other bride in the world will choose. Let your day be special and unique from the get go. Don’t follow other bride’s trends. Be yourself, and above all else, once you’ve gone through the steps of figuring out what your wedding will be, everything will be the most beautiful, and the most memorable day you and your guests will have. And if you're a certified planner, help your client to find the date that's perfect for them!
Tricks of the trade – pick a date that gives you enough time to figure out what your day will look like, and that will give you enough time to budget and stay on budget. There will undoubtedly be pieces of this puzzle that will hang nonprofessionals up…no matter how organized they are, or how good their maid of honour is at research... Managing the project of your wedding, is undoubtedly like being pregnant and planning for the arrival of your new child, or like hosting a house guest that’s planning to stay till they kick the bucket. The planning period is stressful, if for no other reason than because it’s a time of limbo, where you still have your full time job, and you’re learning the new responsibilities of taking on a husband or partner, AND you’re working that full time job of pulling off the biggest project in your personal history as a couple. There will be lots to divert your attentions during the period while you are planning your wedding. In football terms, it’s critical to have your end zone defined and continually in sight. Without the end zone, planning makes no sense and will get no traction. You can do this…one step at a time. And above all else, this is the beginning of the most exciting journey you’ll have had yet in your lifetime. No matter how quickly it came about, or how long you have both waited. If you're a professional, you have learned the ways to make this non-stressful, smooth, focused and efficient.
Now you need the best damn wedding preparation checklist you can find. There are hundreds of them out there, so be methodical about selecting the one that you feel will fit your personality the best. Then find yourself the best damn professional coordinator you could hope for.
Want to know more? Register for classes with Excellence in Event Education at http://www.eeeweddingplanning.com to become a professional and to obtain your own copy of Life Size Bride.
Of course I’ll marry you….
Now What?
There’s so much to do – and you don’t even know what comes next.
If you’re like me, you stopped dreaming about your big day right about the same time you turned 30. You came to the realization that as you get older, the old dream of a frilly, pink wedding would no longer look “right” anyway. You recognized that at some point, you in a frilly white dress, would look like a lemon meringue pie trotting down the aisle, and that all the really pretty wedding dresses being made by the biggest names in fashion were being made for Teenagers, and Twinkies and Waifs, oh my.
SET THE DATE
So the answer to what’s next is: Take a deep breath, open up a calendar to next year sometime and do that spinning thing with your fingers to pick a date! OR, if there’s a date that is special to the two of you – choose that one. One thing I’d warn you to avoid doing would be choosing a long weekend (most guests would be not very happy at losing one of the few cottage weekends we’re able to get in each year) in high season for weddings (late May through mid September) and choosing the one day each year that every other bride in the world will choose. Let your day be special and unique from the get go. Don’t follow other bride’s trends. Be yourself, and above all else, once you’ve gone through the steps of figuring out what your wedding will be, everything will be the most beautiful, and the most memorable day you and your guests will have. And if you're a certified planner, help your client to find the date that's perfect for them!
Tricks of the trade – pick a date that gives you enough time to figure out what your day will look like, and that will give you enough time to budget and stay on budget. There will undoubtedly be pieces of this puzzle that will hang nonprofessionals up…no matter how organized they are, or how good their maid of honour is at research... Managing the project of your wedding, is undoubtedly like being pregnant and planning for the arrival of your new child, or like hosting a house guest that’s planning to stay till they kick the bucket. The planning period is stressful, if for no other reason than because it’s a time of limbo, where you still have your full time job, and you’re learning the new responsibilities of taking on a husband or partner, AND you’re working that full time job of pulling off the biggest project in your personal history as a couple. There will be lots to divert your attentions during the period while you are planning your wedding. In football terms, it’s critical to have your end zone defined and continually in sight. Without the end zone, planning makes no sense and will get no traction. You can do this…one step at a time. And above all else, this is the beginning of the most exciting journey you’ll have had yet in your lifetime. No matter how quickly it came about, or how long you have both waited. If you're a professional, you have learned the ways to make this non-stressful, smooth, focused and efficient.
Now you need the best damn wedding preparation checklist you can find. There are hundreds of them out there, so be methodical about selecting the one that you feel will fit your personality the best. Then find yourself the best damn professional coordinator you could hope for.
Want to know more? Register for classes with Excellence in Event Education at http://www.eeeweddingplanning.com to become a professional and to obtain your own copy of Life Size Bride.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Life Size Bride - View to a change!
It’s hard enough being a new bride at any age or dress size, faced with making decisions about location, attire, seating plans and budgets. It’s even harder when you’re a real sized woman (you gave up wearing your thong and cone cupped bustier as outer wear 7 years ago), over the age of 30.
Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.
This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.
After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning of one’s own wedding. Since then too, all of these things combined to bring me to a point in life where I’ve established my own Wedding Planning business, and an online distance education program for others to become event coordination certified. One passionate project has become a lifelong dream of bringing to others what I instinctively knew all along. Organization is the key to successful delivery of every project, but passion is the key to getting the touchdown every time you touch the ball!
In the coming entries, what you’ll read are simply my tactics, thoughts, opinions, on how I got through one stage of my wedding planning to the next. What you’ll detect is that these tales will more greatly resonate with women, who like myself, fit the everyday, real women’s profile (size 12 or larger, 30 years or older), and who may be trying to navigate those things that a typical young 20 something bride never need concern herself with. This is not a “how to plan your own wedding” book. This is a tale of what happened on my way down the aisle with the hopes that it will help to peel away some of the hang ups brides find themselves in the midst of. Some of these opinions may be biting and strike a wrong cord with some brides to be. For this I won’t apologize. In fact, I will reiterate many times to make this a day that is reflective of your own personal taste. I just want you to know what the rest of the world is really thinking when they see it. Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.
While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented or specific rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the aesthetics of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.
Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.
This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.
After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning of one’s own wedding. Since then too, all of these things combined to bring me to a point in life where I’ve established my own Wedding Planning business, and an online distance education program for others to become event coordination certified. One passionate project has become a lifelong dream of bringing to others what I instinctively knew all along. Organization is the key to successful delivery of every project, but passion is the key to getting the touchdown every time you touch the ball!
In the coming entries, what you’ll read are simply my tactics, thoughts, opinions, on how I got through one stage of my wedding planning to the next. What you’ll detect is that these tales will more greatly resonate with women, who like myself, fit the everyday, real women’s profile (size 12 or larger, 30 years or older), and who may be trying to navigate those things that a typical young 20 something bride never need concern herself with. This is not a “how to plan your own wedding” book. This is a tale of what happened on my way down the aisle with the hopes that it will help to peel away some of the hang ups brides find themselves in the midst of. Some of these opinions may be biting and strike a wrong cord with some brides to be. For this I won’t apologize. In fact, I will reiterate many times to make this a day that is reflective of your own personal taste. I just want you to know what the rest of the world is really thinking when they see it. Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.
While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented or specific rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the aesthetics of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Design versus Decor
The most fundamental difference between Design and Decor is a matter of Inspiration versus Execution.
So many people look at weddings and events and think how wonderful it would be to be able to transform a space into something remarkable and picture worthy, and have no idea where to start.
So knowing that the fundamental difference is inspiration versus execution, it's important to understand that one cannot exist well, or be a successful business without being able to do both.
From modern contemprorary event spaces,
to themed spaces,
to traditional romantic wedding spaces,
the ways to achieve each look are dependent not only on budget, but a solid understanding of textures, colour complimenting tactics, and just plain luxe product choices. Just like any interior design, each choice is dependent on the one previous. And each choice layers to complete an overarching concept and design.
Wishing everyone a day of inspirations!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Jack and Ye - July 11, 2010
As I explained in an earlier post, I had quite the busy summer. But it started off beautifully, when I handed off a wedding I was planning to a day of coordinator at Exquisite Occasions (http://www.exquisiteoccasions.ca/) to carry across the finish line for me.
Ye and Jack hired me last October to plan their wedding. A wonderful, and incredibly busy couple, they were looking for a "secret garden" kind of wedding. 95% of their guest list, including their parents, would be taking the voyage to Toronto from China. Ye and Jack wanted to be sure that they hosted a very western wedding without overlooking their eastern traditions. Our first stop, was the Fantasy Farm, and this was followed by some very trustworthy and wonderful friends of mine in the industry.
When I broke the news to Ye and Jack that I was expecting a baby, completely unexpectedly, my heart was broken. My baby's due date was just a week before their wedding date, and I was incredibly nervous about oing into labour at the most inconvenient time, or having to deal with complications when I should be managing the details of their big day. I left it to them to decide whether they wanted me to back out completely and help them find another planner straight away, or if they wanted me to complete the major steps of planning and hand off to a day of coordinator to help bring the last month of details together for them.
Much to my happiness, they asked me to stay on as long as I could, and together we would interview potential day of coordinators to help them fully realize a most wonderful day. :)
And of course, they had a lovely one. From the venue to the flowers, the photographer and the cake. We came in under budget, and we have evidence that a really beautiful day gave Ye and Jack and their family and friends a moment to remember!
Our major vendors were:
Fantasy Farm (http://www.fantasyfarm.ca/)
Wild Orchid Creations Photography (http://www.wildorchidcreations.com/)
Sounds of Distinction (http://www.soundsofdistinction.com/)
Fran Sackler Florals (http://www.fsflorals.com/)
Alisa Lyons (http://www.whataface.com/)
Cakeaholic (http://www.cakeaholic.ca/)
Congratulations Ye and Jack. I wish you many years of married bliss. You are a special couple, and have a bright future. Thank you for trusting me with your big day!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Passion for detail
What it takes to plan a wedding is a lot of passion and a keen eye for detail. With a wide variety of budgets to contend with, and a whole lot of various decision makers at the ready to tear things a part, it also takes a lot of guts.
When I learned how to manage the intricate details of a project in my old IT career, I also learned how to do this with no budget. My only budget allotted to me was out of my control, and was allocated strictly to my extended teams' salaries. With no development budget to actually spend it was always a matter of being as creative as I could to Macgyver a robust process that would dazzle my superiors with nothing but a paper clip and a shoe string. This is the exact foundation I needed to start my career as an event planner, and moreover, as a wedding planner.
When you learn how to do things right, you learn how to turn a rustic old building into a lavish 50's style dinner club. You learn how to hire the right vendors who'll transform an old 70's banquet hall to make it modern and contemporary, or who will photograph the event in such a way as to disguise and play down anything that glares out as an oddity. You learn how to take a paper clip and a shoe string, maybe a bit of glue, and turn them into a wrist corsage that would make the mother of the bride cry with pride. And you'll do it with no one being any the wiser.
You learn how to network and you learn how to dazzle your clients with your professionalism. You'll make yourself remembered among your network of suppliers as someone they would prefer to do business with over any of the competition.
Where do you learn something like this, without losing half of the practical education that helps you to help your own business succeed? Excellence In Event Education has the answers you need and has the teaching method that really helps you to take your time to learn it right. http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/
When I learned how to manage the intricate details of a project in my old IT career, I also learned how to do this with no budget. My only budget allotted to me was out of my control, and was allocated strictly to my extended teams' salaries. With no development budget to actually spend it was always a matter of being as creative as I could to Macgyver a robust process that would dazzle my superiors with nothing but a paper clip and a shoe string. This is the exact foundation I needed to start my career as an event planner, and moreover, as a wedding planner.
When you learn how to do things right, you learn how to turn a rustic old building into a lavish 50's style dinner club. You learn how to hire the right vendors who'll transform an old 70's banquet hall to make it modern and contemporary, or who will photograph the event in such a way as to disguise and play down anything that glares out as an oddity. You learn how to take a paper clip and a shoe string, maybe a bit of glue, and turn them into a wrist corsage that would make the mother of the bride cry with pride. And you'll do it with no one being any the wiser.
You learn how to network and you learn how to dazzle your clients with your professionalism. You'll make yourself remembered among your network of suppliers as someone they would prefer to do business with over any of the competition.
Where do you learn something like this, without losing half of the practical education that helps you to help your own business succeed? Excellence In Event Education has the answers you need and has the teaching method that really helps you to take your time to learn it right. http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/
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