Budget...ICK

There are a few things that contribute to what a wedding budget will look like. First and foremost, you need to decide what kind of debt you’re willing to absorb. If you’re in your twenties, and you’re parents are thrilled, and obsessed with the etiquette of ages ago, then it’s likely that your parents, and perhaps even his parents, will help out by paying for the wedding. This means that you’re dependent on them for the budget. If you are a more modern and aged couple (in your thirties or older), then it’s all too likely that you and your fiancé will be paying your own way. In my opinion, this works out in the end to be the best option anyway – you may be laden with a bit of debt to work through after it’s all done and dusted, but here are the positives as I see them.

First, it means that everything about the wedding is the choice of you and your fiancé (depending on how involved he wishes to be), and yours alone. You can ask for advice from the people, who are important in your lives, but in the end it’s your wedding, and it’s your money, and it’s your decision. You can take the advice they give you or leave it without the guilt or obligation that comes with a parentally funded soiree.
The next important benefit of paying for your own wedding is that you in fact do control the spending. What this means is that there will be no exorbitantly expensive flowers or guest favours, if those are not the most important things to have on your day. You can choose where the priority money gets spent. It also means that you shouldn’t have to use Uncle Larry’s useless son as the photographer because your dad owes Uncle Larry a favour from 42 years ago.

Lastly, it means that you will have a day that is perfect for you and your guests, no matter what that looks like, or how much you spent.

Budgets help you to choose your number of guests and your location too. Whether you can afford $5000, or $25,000, you know that you need to tailor your number of guests, and the affordability of the location to that budget. There are hundreds of reference materials out there that you can use to tell you on average how much each thing should cost you, that will undoubtedly help you to arrive at a realistic budget.

Yes, Yes, Yes I'll Marry You...Now What?

You just said YES, YES, YES.
Of course I’ll marry you….

Now What?

There’s so much to do – and you don’t even know what comes next.

If you’re like me, you stopped dreaming about your big day right about the same time you turned 30. You came to the realization that as you get older, the old dream of a frilly, pink wedding would no longer look “right” anyway. You recognized that at some point, you in a frilly white dress, would look like a lemon meringue pie trotting down the aisle, and that all the really pretty wedding dresses being made by the biggest names in fashion were being made for Teenagers, and Twinkies and Waifs, oh my.

SET THE DATE

So the answer to what’s next is: Take a deep breath, open up a calendar to next year sometime and do that spinning thing with your fingers to pick a date! OR, if there’s a date that is special to the two of you – choose that one. One thing I’d warn you to avoid doing would be choosing a long weekend (most guests would be not very happy at losing one of the few cottage weekends we’re able to get in each year) in high season for weddings (late May through mid September) and choosing the one day each year that every other bride in the world will choose. Let your day be special and unique from the get go. Don’t follow other bride’s trends. Be yourself, and above all else, once you’ve gone through the steps of figuring out what your wedding will be, everything will be the most beautiful, and the most memorable day you and your guests will have. And if you're a certified planner, help your client to find the date that's perfect for them!

Tricks of the trade – pick a date that gives you enough time to figure out what your day will look like, and that will give you enough time to budget and stay on budget. There will undoubtedly be pieces of this puzzle that will hang nonprofessionals up…no matter how organized they are, or how good their maid of honour is at research... Managing the project of your wedding, is undoubtedly like being pregnant and planning for the arrival of your new child, or like hosting a house guest that’s planning to stay till they kick the bucket. The planning period is stressful, if for no other reason than because it’s a time of limbo, where you still have your full time job, and you’re learning the new responsibilities of taking on a husband or partner, AND you’re working that full time job of pulling off the biggest project in your personal history as a couple. There will be lots to divert your attentions during the period while you are planning your wedding. In football terms, it’s critical to have your end zone defined and continually in sight. Without the end zone, planning makes no sense and will get no traction. You can do this…one step at a time. And above all else, this is the beginning of the most exciting journey you’ll have had yet in your lifetime. No matter how quickly it came about, or how long you have both waited. If you're a professional, you have learned the ways to make this non-stressful, smooth, focused and efficient.

Now you need the best damn wedding preparation checklist you can find. There are hundreds of them out there, so be methodical about selecting the one that you feel will fit your personality the best. Then find yourself the best damn professional coordinator you could hope for.

Want to know more? Register for classes with Excellence in Event Education at http://www.eeeweddingplanning.com to become a professional and to obtain your own copy of Life Size Bride.

Life Size Bride - View to a change!

It’s hard enough being a new bride at any age or dress size, faced with making decisions about location, attire, seating plans and budgets. It’s even harder when you’re a real sized woman (you gave up wearing your thong and cone cupped bustier as outer wear 7 years ago), over the age of 30.

Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.

This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.

After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning of one’s own wedding. Since then too, all of these things combined to bring me to a point in life where I’ve established my own Wedding Planning business, and an online distance education program for others to become event coordination certified. One passionate project has become a lifelong dream of bringing to others what I instinctively knew all along. Organization is the key to successful delivery of every project, but passion is the key to getting the touchdown every time you touch the ball!

In the coming entries, what you’ll read are simply my tactics, thoughts, opinions, on how I got through one stage of my wedding planning to the next. What you’ll detect is that these tales will more greatly resonate with women, who like myself, fit the everyday, real women’s profile (size 12 or larger, 30 years or older), and who may be trying to navigate those things that a typical young 20 something bride never need concern herself with. This is not a “how to plan your own wedding” book. This is a tale of what happened on my way down the aisle with the hopes that it will help to peel away some of the hang ups brides find themselves in the midst of. Some of these opinions may be biting and strike a wrong cord with some brides to be. For this I won’t apologize. In fact, I will reiterate many times to make this a day that is reflective of your own personal taste. I just want you to know what the rest of the world is really thinking when they see it. Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.

While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented or specific rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the aesthetics of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.

Design versus Decor

The most fundamental difference between Design and Decor is a matter of Inspiration versus Execution.

So many people look at weddings and events and think how wonderful it would be to be able to transform a space into something remarkable and picture worthy, and have no idea where to start.

So knowing that the fundamental difference is inspiration versus execution, it's important to understand that one cannot exist well, or be a successful business without being able to do both.

From modern contemprorary event spaces,

to themed spaces,

to traditional romantic wedding spaces,

the ways to achieve each look are dependent not only on budget, but a solid understanding of textures, colour complimenting tactics, and just plain luxe product choices. Just like any interior design, each choice is dependent on the one previous. And each choice layers to complete an overarching concept and design.

Wishing everyone a day of inspirations!

Jack and Ye - July 11, 2010

As I explained in an earlier post, I had quite the busy summer. But it started off beautifully, when I handed off a wedding I was planning to a day of coordinator at Exquisite Occasions (http://www.exquisiteoccasions.ca/) to carry across the finish line for me.

Ye and Jack hired me last October to plan their wedding. A wonderful, and incredibly busy couple, they were looking for a "secret garden" kind of wedding. 95% of their guest list, including their parents, would be taking the voyage to Toronto from China. Ye and Jack wanted to be sure that they hosted a very western wedding without overlooking their eastern traditions. Our first stop, was the Fantasy Farm, and this was followed by some very trustworthy and wonderful friends of mine in the industry.

When I broke the news to Ye and Jack that I was expecting a baby, completely unexpectedly, my heart was broken. My baby's due date was just a week before their wedding date, and I was incredibly nervous about oing into labour at the most inconvenient time, or having to deal with complications when I should be managing the details of their big day. I left it to them to decide whether they wanted me to back out completely and help them find another planner straight away, or if they wanted me to complete the major steps of planning and hand off to a day of coordinator to help bring the last month of details together for them.

Much to my happiness, they asked me to stay on as long as I could, and together we would interview potential day of coordinators to help them fully realize a most wonderful day. :)

And of course, they had a lovely one. From the venue to the flowers, the photographer and the cake. We came in under budget, and we have evidence that a really beautiful day gave Ye and Jack and their family and friends a moment to remember!

Our major vendors were:

Fantasy Farm (http://www.fantasyfarm.ca/)

Wild Orchid Creations Photography (http://www.wildorchidcreations.com/)

Sounds of Distinction (http://www.soundsofdistinction.com/)

Fran Sackler Florals (http://www.fsflorals.com/)

Alisa Lyons (http://www.whataface.com/)

Cakeaholic (http://www.cakeaholic.ca/)

Congratulations Ye and Jack. I wish you many years of married bliss. You are a special couple, and have a bright future. Thank you for trusting me with your big day!

Passion for detail

What it takes to plan a wedding is a lot of passion and a keen eye for detail. With a wide variety of budgets to contend with, and a whole lot of various decision makers at the ready to tear things a part, it also takes a lot of guts.

When I learned how to manage the intricate details of a project in my old IT career, I also learned how to do this with no budget. My only budget allotted to me was out of my control, and was allocated strictly to my extended teams' salaries. With no development budget to actually spend it was always a matter of being as creative as I could to Macgyver a robust process that would dazzle my superiors with nothing but a paper clip and a shoe string. This is the exact foundation I needed to start my career as an event planner, and moreover, as a wedding planner.

When you learn how to do things right, you learn how to turn a rustic old building into a lavish 50's style dinner club. You learn how to hire the right vendors who'll transform an old 70's banquet hall to make it modern and contemporary, or who will photograph the event in such a way as to disguise and play down anything that glares out as an oddity. You learn how to take a paper clip and a shoe string, maybe a bit of glue, and turn them into a wrist corsage that would make the mother of the bride cry with pride. And you'll do it with no one being any the wiser.

You learn how to network and you learn how to dazzle your clients with your professionalism. You'll make yourself remembered among your network of suppliers as someone they would prefer to do business with over any of the competition.

Where do you learn something like this, without losing half of the practical education that helps you to help your own business succeed? Excellence In Event Education has the answers you need and has the teaching method that really helps you to take your time to learn it right. http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/

New Adventures

Well it's been a long time since I wrote anything, and well, that's because I've been extremely busy! I'm a new mom, and I spent the last trimester of my pregnancy, feverishly writing the curriculum texts for my other brand new adventure.

Not to worry, I'll still be dabbling away at wedding planning, and florals. But this new adventure is pretty extreme. Let me get a quick proud mama moment out of the way and share a photo of my beautiful daughter with you first!

In addition to this beautiful piece de resistance! The newest baby is a distance education school by the name of Excellence In Event Education (http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/) or E3 for short. Unlike every other event planning school out there, the major difference we're offering is a more thorough curriculum and virtual classroom instruction. Courses can still be completed in the privacy of your own home and at your own pace. But you get full on support from the school throughout the program, and onward after you graduate. The deal is that we're aiming to prepare graduates to manage their new careers. We're not simply presenting the shiny object, and collecting fees for the distraction. Our tuitions are lower than the others too. There's only success for the student who graduates from our program. And we're not stopping with wedding planning. We know what it takes to be a success in this industry, and it's diversity.

So come the new year, we'll be offering more than just wedding planning, you'll be able to certify and learn how to plan things like parades, trade shows, destination weddings, and more! Who knew planning a funeral could be part of a course curriculum? And when you leave, you're prepared to enter the career through another employer, or you're prepared to start your own business and take the leap. We dive deep into marketing the business, analyzing industry statistics, and developing business strategies. It's not just grab your license and go! And with over 40 combined years of experience at the helm, we can show you how!

Visit http://www.excellenceineventeducation.com/ right away and register! Start your new career today!

Julie and Steve - April 10, 2010

I met Julie and Steve last summer when they were having issues with their previous florist. They needed someone who was going to respond to their questions quickly, and who could help to develop and interpret a real vision for their florals with them, and keeping them a real priority thorughout the entire process! From our first meeting, Julie, Steve and I discovered a lot in common, and I was always pleased to meet and hear from them! The plans changed a couple of times throughout the process, and with each change, I think the designs got better and better! We did Bouquets, Bouts, Corsages and Centrepieces for the Ceremony and the Reception. We delivered everything today, and while I anxiously await their professional photos, I did want to share a quick sneak peak! Congratulations Julie and Steve!

Enjoy!

Parent's Table Arrangement

Reception Arrangement

Ceremony Arrangements

The Bridesmaids' Bouquets

The Bride's Bouquet

The Maid of Honour's Bouquet

Long Overdue - Bridal Bouquets and Bouts

Well hello there.

This post is long overdue, but I've been a wee bit busy in the baby baking department! Now that I'm well enough to catch up, I wanted to share with you a couple of bouquets and bouts we put together for a bride at the beginning of November. We used deep red roses and mini mango calla lillies, lightened up with white hypericum to deliver a result that I was quite proud of.

Enjoy!