Well, Yipes.
As brides, if this hasn't got you thinking "huh?" then we need to chat.
With all that bride's have going on in the month leading up to the big day, I'm honestly very surprised to see how many people are doing different favours for different people. In most cases I'm seeing it occur it is when couples are hosting a guest list of more than 100 people! And if they aren't different favours for different people, then they are going the extra mile and personalizing each tag for each guest.
I want to tell you that (while nice and very personal), the person who takes this on as a project has to be EXTREMELY well organized, and must have seating plans for each table, and cross referenceable charts to help who ever is placing the favours at each setting OR they have to be prepared that the favours will be presented very pleasingly the same way place cards would. Even consider presenting them with the placecards.
I've seen it done incredibly well, and I've seen it done incredibly poorly - and quite frankly, when you're a day of coordinator, you certainly want to help lay them out, and you most definitely want to do it perfectly - but the added referencing work can often throw a real snag in a coordinator's efficiency on your wedding day - and ultimately, it can really challenge your coordinator to catch all the other little details if she and her assistant are trying to make sense of a bride's last minute, great idea, rushed attempt at organization.
I personally think it's a whole lot of work for everyone: the bride, the groom, the bridal party (who often get pulled in at the last minute to help get tags and wrapping finished) and the coordinator. And as I've demonstrated above, it creates an opportunity for undue chaos to take this extra mile. Honestly, I believe there are better places to spend that money, and effort personalizing little details of your day that won't cause undue stress on anyone, and that all of the guests will appreciate. At the end of the wedding, your guest is not going to care that they had a personalized gift tag, or a better gift - what they will remember is that they got the WRONG tag, or they got the LESSER/CHEAPER gift.
When deciding on favours, here are the steps you should follow:
1) what's your budget for favours?
2) what type of favour would best reflect your tastes as a couple and your life together - ie. coffee cups, crystal wine decanters, chocolate truffles, chopsticks, etc... ?
3) whatever your answers to #1 and #2, now you need to decide on whether or not your gift is suitable for all individual guests, or more suitable as 1 favour per couple gift.
4) Buy the same thing for every favour
5) wrap and present them the same way - your personalized thank you tags should be personalized with your own generic thank you message and your names - NOT your guests' names
6) decide if the favours will be presented on a separate table (suitable for large favours), at each place setting, or at every other place setting.
Final thoughts on the 6th rule -
a) If you have a number of single guests, consider doing the separate table presentation or a favour that is suitable for each individual at each place setting.
b) If you have children attending, they too should get an individual favour if you are setting them at each place setting.
c) If they are too young to use it, consider it a write off and let the child's parent take it home with them.
d) If you've chosen to do larger, more expensive favours for each couple, scratch counting one for each child, and be sure to count one for each single guest (+1's should be considered part of the single guest's couple), but DO be sure that you're presentation of the favours is at a separate table so guests can collect them on the way into your dining hall or on the way out at the end of the night.
All this achieves your ultimate goal - it keeps things organized, and smooth to roll out on your wedding day, AND it helps you to make sure that you are leaving no one feeling left out. Everyone leaves with the very same smile. And finally, if it's left behind, you can donate it to a favourite charity afterwards.
I know it seems like an awful lot of rules, and perhaps like it's more complicated than it needs to be, but at the end of the day, it amounts to this: 1 favour for all favours given - personalized with a generic thank you message from the two of you, with no further effort required. Just imagine how much more complicated these rules are when you start setting aside chopsticks for Sue Ann Smith, and a gravy boat for Sue Ann Rogers!!!
AND if you still want to personalize your favours, know that it's perfectly fine, and perfectly beautiful - my best advice to you is to start EARLY, PREPARE everyone who is going to help you, ASK for guidance and help, and BE EXTREMELY WELL ORGANIZED! Everyone will appreciate it that much more!
Happy Favour Shopping!
