To DIY or not to DIY...That is the question

What details of your wedding can be crafted by yourself? The simple truth, is of course you can do anything. Add a bit of creativity, and a good amount of planning, and you'll find yourself able to accomplish just about anything I'm sure.

But there is a really good reason we hire people to do certain tasks. First and foremost, you have to consider that if you've done it all yourself, who will take care of laying everything out on your big day? If you've done it all yourself, will you have enough time in the last two days before your wedding to assemble all your floral centrepieces, bouquets and other fresh details? Lastly, if you (and your mom and your friends) have managed to do all the cooking for a very frugal and very tasty buffet, will you have enough places to refrigerate the food in advance of the big day? Will you be able to contribute any energy to this while you're doing your fresh florals? How will hot foods be reheated for your buffet reception? And finally - who's gonna do all them dishes?

The reality is that this is a time like none other you've probably ever had. It's time to delegate, and given how perfect we all want our wedding day to be, it's a time when it's probably better to delegate to someone who is a professional, who has some experience doing the task over and over again...and finally, someone who is going to dedicate their time leading up to your wedding in doing one or two tasks extremely well, rather than you and your friends/family stretching yourselves too thinly at the 11th hour.

But there are still some things that can be done on your own to save a couple bucks that will help you to stick to a tighter budget.

Things like your favours, your invitations, your photo guest book, or your slideshow. You can do your own makeup on your wedding day, and you can do your own manicure and pedicure the day before. You can print out your own place cards, your seating chart, or your menus and programs. With the technology available to us in the printers we have today, your only limitations are your imagination, and perhaps embossed or metallic print. You can host your own rehearsal dinner by throwing together a small bbq for your bridal party and your immediate family at your home. If you're trying to manage the things you splurge on, better to handle the manageable early tasks on your own as much as possible.

There are tons of ways to make these happen on a tighter budget, but you should always opt to delegate these tasks to the people who do it best. It will make you happier in the long run, and will increase your odds exponentially of having a fabulous, stress free experience.
Happy Planning!

Customized Pew Bows

Why buy pew bows for $50, that are simple, basic and won't have any other purpose after your big day? There is an alternative. You can rent them. customize them to really make a statement, and you won't have to lift a pretty fingernail after your ceremony is done to remove them and / or figure out what to do with them?

We're currently putting some bows together for a bride who is being married on June 27th. The rental rate is $50 for each set of 6 bows (I do believe you can buy 6 at Michaels for $50 but you'll have to spend more money and time to make them pump up your ceremony decor that extra notch). See some ideas below for inspiration, and to see what else is possible!

Mike & Myra - 4/25/09

Yesterday, we had the pleasure of helping Mike & Myra throw a seamless and extraordinary wedding reception at the Atlantis Pavilion at Ontario Place! A beautiful couple, and a most extraordinary day, they enjoyed the warm sun, and the fabulous weather, and managed to just escape the onslaught of the thunderstorm that took all of us by complete surprise. This is definitely a couple who is lucky, and luckier still, in love.

Here are a few of our non professional teaser pics for you to enjoy!

We wish them all the best for a happy and fun filled life together.

Congratulations Mike & Myra!

Divorced Parents and the +1 Debate

With 50% or more of Baby Boomer and GEN X marriages ending in divorce, this generation of brides has the unprecedented challenge of dealing with divorced parents and their new partners.
The most common questions that come up show us that these issues can make or break a bride’s ability to adjust and “maintain the calm” for her own wedding. In fact, many times, it’s the one thing that will turn a bride into bridezilla in less time than it takes a supped up Mustang to go from 0 to 60mph.

Who do I ask to walk me down the aisle?

Always, always ask your biological father to walk you down the aisle, UNLESS the relationship is so strained it would break your own heart not to be given away by someone else. The thing is that you have to imagine yourself in 10 years, or even 15 years, and ask yourself if you would have regretted not being given away by your biological father. Without sounding too cliché, most men only have two dreams for their daughters. First, they dream about their daughter being the Prime Minister or the President of some large and powerful company, or something so incredible, that they just know their daughter could rule the free world if given the chance. Their second dream is almost always one of being able to give their daughter away to a man they believe will take good care of her. Often we may not think about it when we’re in the midst of planning our big day, but the reality is that in breaking his dream, you’ll possibly be breaking one of your own. Allow yourself and your father, the privilege and the honour of being together on that final walk to greet your new husband.

I’m so close to my step father, and he’s been there for me since I was a little girl? Who do I share my father/daughter dance with?

As someone who is watching her own niece grow up in separated and blended families, I can tell you that much like that first walk down the aisle, you’d likely regret not having a father/daughter dance with your biological father. That said, it would probably be weird not to incorporate your step father in the same manner. My answer to this is why not have two father/daughter dances? It adds time to your schedule, true, but I think it’s time well worth spending if you can. If you are so close to your step father that this has come up, then it’s important to incorporate him as much as possible. This would be an elegant and very touching way to share a special moment with him on your big day. As for who goes first? Again, blood trumps water for me every time. So unless there is a justifiable reason for your stepfather getting first or only honours, I would recommend dancing with your step dad second.

My parents can’t be in the same room together without WW 3 breaking out. How do I manage this?

The short answer is while you shouldn’t have to deal with this, you’re going to have to. But when you do deal with it, you need to be crystal clear. The time for managing hurt feelings will have to be when all of this wedding stuff is done and dusted. Sit them down in their respective corners early on. Explain to them that while you understand the animosities that exist between them, that you have a certain expectation. That expectation is that just for this process and this day, you expect them to behave like adults, and you expect them to remember that your feelings are the ones hanging in the balance of their ability to manage their own immaturity. Explain to them both that while it’s very important to you that both of them play an integral role in your day, that you would rather not have them involved at all if they intend to bicker and carry on at any point during the process. This should do the trick, even though it could get their hackles up a bit in the meantime. The challenge to you is to become the adult they have forgotten to be. You are about to take a huge step in your adult life...and if not now, when will you demonstrate that leadership and independence all adults are expected to have?
You should also be prepared to follow through on your threat. Really, I know it would be unthinkable, and each situation is unique, but by following this guideline in principle, you are sure to leave an indelible mark on your parents’ minds. One that should be fairly difficult to forget or overlook.

My Mom just started seeing someone – I don’t even know him, but she expects to bring him to the wedding?

I have to tell you that you have no choice in this decision. And you should not try to impose yourself on your mother for having a relationship that makes her happy, even if it is just for now. Imagine if your mom had told you that you couldn’t invite your fiancé to Christmas dinner because she would be uncomfortable and didn’t want to “deal” with managing those issues and feelings that come with meeting/hosting the new boyfriend. The reality is that everyone deserves a chance at happiness, and everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves, and nothing makes your wedding day (wonderful as it will be) so special that you can ask your guests not to share your day in a way that makes them most comfortable. Also consider that she may want him there for moral support. Watching her daughter grow up and get married is an emotional thing for her to go through. She’s going to need a calm and reassuring hand – one that you won’t be able to give her (you will be rather busy after all). Lastly, consider if this happens to be “the one” for her. If she were to marry this new boyfriend, would you feel as justified about excluding him from your wedding, when it would have been one more shared memory to share in your speech on their big day? Remember that every boyfriend and girlfriend was new once. Yes, EVEN YOU were new to the group at one time. Remember the first wedding you went to with your fiancé? Remember that the couple whose wedding you attended, may not have known you very well either. At the end of the day, for the price of a meal, you’re going to be sure that your Mom (who may even be helping you to pay for the wedding) will have a wonderful time, won’t resent you later on, and won’t be sitting there throughout the entire meal feeling isolated, alone and embarrassed about being on her own. And finally, she won’t be wishing she could find the darkest corner in the room when the dancing begins because she is without a partner.

My Mom/Dad is remarried, and while he/she’s a nice person and I like him/her, I’m just not as close to him/her as I am with my Parent. What do I do?

My feeling is that step parents should be respected enough (extenuating circumstances excepted) to be incorporated as much and as easily as possible. Often times you can simply leave it to them to agree or disagree, and you might be surprised how many brownie points you’ll earn simply by having given it enough thought to ask. Ask your stepparent to say a few words during speeches. Share that second father/daughter dance with him. Maybe even take a moment during the ceremony to bring both stepparents together with your own parents for a candle lighting or a sand ceremony. There are always small and meaningful ways in which your stepparent can be included, without looking like you’re favouring one step parent over another.
The reality is that weddings should never be “exclusive”. They are by invitation, but surely, having fun means including everyone you love, and those that love you back. No matter what direction that love comes from. If you are approaching your wedding from an exclusive point of view, in my experience, you’ll spend more time trying to justify your decisions to the people who love you than you will sharing the happiest moments of your life with the people who are most happy for you. Decisions that have to be justified over and over again were probably the wrong decision to start with.

This is one where the golden rule always applies – do unto others, as you would have done unto you. Plain and simple, if in 20 years or so, you want to be sure that, come what may, your children still respect and love you enough to have you be a part of their day, be sure to pay it forward in advance. Treat your parents the very same way today.

Life Size Bride

It’s hard enough being a new bride at any age or dress size, faced with making decisions about location, attire, seating plans and budgets. It’s even harder when you’re a real sized woman (you gave up wearing your thong and cone cupped bustier as outer wear 7 years ago), over the age of 30.

Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.

This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the deep plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.

Fast forward to the day I met my future husband. Even in the early months of dating, while I knew that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I had locked away those thoughts and dreams of a wedding so far at the back of my mind, that I had lost the key to that vault. When he asked me to marry him, and my long lost dreams jumped to the forefront of my life, I found myself lost amidst the person I was, the person I am, and the people he and I were going to be. I found myself leaping into a new sisterhood of women, and found myself almost distraught at the thought that I might not be prepared for it like my metaphorical sisters were. I concerned myself with whether or not I would actually belong amongst my new sisterhood, and whether I actually deserved to sit among my sisters’ ranks (given how I had convinced myself that I must not be worthy of being married years ago). And lastly, while I knew I had grace to spare, I had not had an opportunity to share that grace in so many years, that when I called upon it, I found myself dealing more often with the criticisms of others, than pushing forward with complete ease.

After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning one’s own wedding.

Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.

While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the esthetic of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.

If there are two things you will learn from this entry and the ones that will come, they should be that a wedding is a celebratory day for you and your fiancé, and that with the right ownership and organization, your day can only be perfect, no matter what happens to slightly derail your schedule. It’s yours to own, to enjoy, and to take in with every breath…so just do it that way.

Why hire a wedding planner

The real question is why wouldn't you?

Good planners will ensure that their fees work within your budget. So if you've budgeted $20,000 for your fabulous day, a good wedding planner will never let your budget exceed that amount to accommodate their own fees.

Really good planners, will leverage their contacts, drive the best possible discounts with a list of preferred vendors OR will work with your own favourite vendors to create a dream wedding that you never even thought you'd see realized.

Planners are a key piece of hosting your own wedding, be it large or small, a fabulous planner will take that $20,000 budget, and will deliver you a wedding much larger and more detailed than even you imagined.

It started with a glance across the room. Let us bring you to your One of a Kind Wedding Day with style!

Check out our website and contact us as soon as you can. www.budgetwisebride.com