Most real, life sized women over 30, whether you’ve never been married or this is your second time around the track, packed away their dreams of a princess like extravaganza of a wedding when they bought their first home, became the breadwinner in their family, and focused the best of their efforts on defining their career.
This was the situation I found myself in. At the age of 33, I had been living on my own for seven years, had owned my own home, and had developed a pretty strong career in the IT sector. I had also checked the baggage of blissfully wedded dreams on a flight I never expected to take to a place I never allowed myself to go, back when I turned 30. The reality was, that anything I had ever dreamed about in a wedding for myself simply didn’t suit the woman I had become, and after years without any prospects, I had simply resolved myself to the recognition that I may be single the rest of my life, or that IF I ever took the plunge into the deep end of the pool, that it might come to be in as casual a way as a renegade Vegas weekend.
After all was done and dusted, and I was enjoying the fruits of my planning labour, I came to receive a compliment from many of my family members, friends and most importantly, from my vendors, that I had been one of the easiest brides they’d ever had to deal with. As much of a compliment as this was, I felt that this meant there may be some lessons to be learned from how I approached the project of planning my own wedding. Any ease people felt in dealing with me, came from a confidence of having made decisions before speaking with my vendors, and came from knowing when I needed guidance and from whom. Funnily enough, my career as a project manager prepared me for this job of planning my own wedding. All of the same organizational skill sets and strategies apply to the function of planning of one’s own wedding. Since then too, all of these things combined to bring me to a point in life where I’ve established my own Wedding Planning business, and an online distance education program for others to become event coordination certified. One passionate project has become a lifelong dream of bringing to others what I instinctively knew all along. Organization is the key to successful delivery of every project, but passion is the key to getting the touchdown every time you touch the ball!
In the coming entries, what you’ll read are simply my tactics, thoughts, opinions, on how I got through one stage of my wedding planning to the next. What you’ll detect is that these tales will more greatly resonate with women, who like myself, fit the everyday, real women’s profile (size 12 or larger, 30 years or older), and who may be trying to navigate those things that a typical young 20 something bride never need concern herself with. This is not a “how to plan your own wedding” book. This is a tale of what happened on my way down the aisle with the hopes that it will help to peel away some of the hang ups brides find themselves in the midst of. Some of these opinions may be biting and strike a wrong cord with some brides to be. For this I won’t apologize. In fact, I will reiterate many times to make this a day that is reflective of your own personal taste. I just want you to know what the rest of the world is really thinking when they see it. Consider me your no nonsense great aunt handing you the goods on reality.
While 40 is supposed to be the new 30, there have not to my knowledge ever been documented or specific rites of passage for the 30 something woman. 30 something women have actually come into their own, and it is well understood by most women that this means we are recognizing our own intelligence and confidence for the power it truly has. It is the first in a sequence of liberating decades that we can claim ownership of. At 30 we have established careers, homes, and independence. We know who we are and where our lines and limitations are. We are more comfortable with our bodies, and know that our skin or our clothes no longer define us, but are reflections of what exists on the inside. When we marry, we are more likely to marry for the marriage than the wedding, and all of these newly known facts, blow away our younger aged perceptions of what our mile markers in life look like. Our weddings are a prime example of this. And if we methodically re-investigate our wants and desires for that day, and recognize the day as a party planning activity where themes are much less linked to the definition of our love than to the aesthetics of the event, then I think we better recognize the priority of each item, and realize that each piece of our wedding is a blessing, rather than an entitlement.
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